June 15, 2005

In Which a villainous mis-handled axe deprives our hero of Ice-Cream

In classic summer style I have fulfilled my obligation to be injured during my vacation. I'm not dead, maimed, or severely wounded, so lets not have any fainting spells.
The short story is as follows. This morning I went with my brothers, my old cross-country coach, and a bunch of young high-school guys to a nice forested area. There we worked on clearing a trail through the forest for next year's cross-country course. I used a machete and had a lot of fun. Other utilized scythes, clippers or saws. One kid wielded an axe. We worked from 9 in the morning until noon. We took a break for lunch and then resumed our work. By 2 o'clock we were tired out. We decided to walk the route we planned to clear next Monday. I brought my machete to mark the way and the axe-wielder carried his axe along too, swinging it at trees as he passed along. For the first few minutes my brother Peter kept people back from me so I needn't constantly watch my backswings with the machete. With time, however, Peter wandered off and unbeknownst to me, the axe-fiend crept nearer. As I paused beneath an old pine to mark our way I suddenly felt a crushing pain on my left shoulder. I decided to sit down, quickly.
The axe-fiend apologized, and as no blood was readily apparent, he went crashing on his way. I careful moved my arm through its range of motion and determined it had no broken bones. It seemed only bruised, and I assumed I had only been hit by the blunt of the axe-head. When we returned to the road some minutes later I noticed some blood seeping through my dual-layered shirts. Further and later analysis revealed a 1 inch gash mid-shoulder that penetrates to the bone immediately beneath the skin. My wonderful mother has patched me and I sit now on the couch using the laptoppy to blog. My arm complains of any demand to support itself, and the main pain-inducing injury seems to be the bruise. Unfortunately there are several major problems. Getting the lid off of a half-gallon of ice-cream generally requires two hands. I shan't be able to do more path clearing this coming Monday. I shall not be able to compete in the Buchin National Weightlifting Competition this Saturday.
All is not lost, however. I have high hopes of a great scar.

Updates will be posted as the situation develops. Pictures will also be forthcoming, albeit linked so those of faint heart need not view them. Have a great afternoon and steer clear of axe-wielding fiends!

After extensive testing it was determined that I can still open half-gallons of ice-cream. Also, the wound is nicely closed and doesn't hurt as much. All seems to be well. I will keep you updated on the status of the ice-cream as the situation develops.

Posted by Moore at June 15, 2005 04:18 PM