April 17, 2003

Memories and Reflections

Well, I meant to update this thing every day that this was going on, but I happened to miss both Tuesday and, technically, Wednesday. Oops. Anyway, I have had several thoughts these past two days. These thoughts should be preceded by the fact that all four were buried today.

The first thoughts are all sad ones. I am currently typing this on the computer at my house. Sitting at this computer and thinking about my sister almost brings me to tears. Never again will I try to get on Yahoo Messenger and have to log off of her name or tell her friends that she is eating. Never again will I come home and change the background because she changed it to a picture of Vin Diesel or some other "hot" guy. Never again will I have to try to uninstall any stupid thing that she downloaded onto the computer. Never again will I argue with her over computer time. I have so many memories of her surrounding this piece of crap computer. I miss her so much already, and it hasn't even been a week since she has been gone. I can not even imagine what this will feel like next week, next month, or next year.

The next thoughts were slightly more happy thoughts. If you remember, previously I stated that I was mad at God. While I am still upset at my sister's death, I am now thankful for the fifteen years that I was able to spend with her. These same thoughts were reflected by some of my family members in the past couple of days. Even though I miss her as much as I do, I believe that she is in Heaven, and I would not want to take her from there.

My next thoughts were those of gratitude. Gratitude towards my town, gratitude towards my friends, and gratitude towards my floor (which in a way could be part of both of the former ones). All have been incredibly supportive of my family and my sister's friends. Either in prayer or in (a large amount of) food, all of the families involved have felt so incredibly loved. If you have been a part of this in any way, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

For those of you on my floor, my parents will be taking me back to LU on Friday. I will see you then unless you are gone for the three day weekend.

Posted by Randy at April 17, 2003 12:43 AM