This morning my alarm clock dragged me out of my blissful dreaming at 7:30. Yeah... that sucked.
Networks started the day at the ungodly hour of 8 a.m. I think this is the first 8 a.m. class I've ever taken... but I could be wrong. I honestly don't remember. Not that I remember much of anything about class this morning, but still.
9:30 brought on Introduction to Psychology. Actually, it brought on me making it to class slightly late, only to be slighty confused. Dr. Matlock-Hetzel was up front, and here I was sure that Dr. Rod Hetzel was supposed to have been teaching. At about this point, my name was called for roll... and thus I was unable to pursue my train of confused thought. A minute later, I got the vague impression that Dr. Hetzel was unable to be there, but this was in fact his class. This was followed by a syllabus, a homework assignment and being dismissed from class. Before I got a chance to become properly confused, class was over.
The end of class oppurtuned a meeting with an old acquaintance who is now a freshman. I accompanied him and his friend to the bookstore where I purchased my costly tomes and mocked him as he payed too much for his. This was followed by a visit to Quad 3, dropping my books off in my room, and heading to Saga. Saga sucked... but the company didn't, I don't care to elaborate.
Software Engineering followed lunch and was immensely special. I say that because we saw a presentation from the Pheonix Project to entice programmers to their team, witnessed the confused explanations of the class by Dr. King, and listened to him ramble about stuff that I picked up in Software Systems. All in all, that's an hour and a half that I'll never have back... and I'm almost as bitter about that as about the $200 worth of books King wants me to buy for his class.
That was the end of classes... a wonderful checkout time of 1:20. Beat that punks. Tomorrow should be fun, but I really do enjoy the overall ending time of before 1:30 PM. Almost makes up for that 8 am class.
Almost.
Well... this is it. In less than an hour, summer is officially at an end. I am sad to see it go... sadder than I have been in quite some time. It is wonderful to know that for the first time in many years, I have had one of those summers that I really would gladly do over again.
Granted, other summers have had their moments: last summer comes to mind with a month of glorious bliss. But on the other hand, those summers also have memories of long weeks of boredom, loneliness and frustration. Thankfully, this has been pleasantly devoid of those aspects. I will miss it and remember it well... but now it is time to get back to work.
To that end, I pleasantly lay down to sleep in the awareness that the alarm will signal re-entry to the realm of 8 am classes entirely too soon.
When I read the write-up (click the link and search for LeTourneau) on LeTourneau in the Texas Monthly, I just knew that I had to respond. Below is my response to their article:
As a LeTourneau student, I think I can satisfactorily say that you guys hit the nail on the head as it comes to LeTourneau. In fact, I only really had two points of concern with your otherwise well-informed and insightful guide.1) The numbers you cited about LU (such as minority attendance and guy/girl ratio) include information about satellite campuses. Which is fine if you want to discuss the adult evening classes in Dallas and Tyler, but the main 4-year campus environment is actually closer to 70:30 guy/girl and has grand total about 15% minority enrollment. For future reference, you might want to consider checking the numbers given to you by the admissions office and talking them over with a student or two. Students tend to know the tricks that admissions plays and will be more than willing to correct you on them.
2) You might want to consider avoiding admissions-employed students when you visit a campus. Your class recommendations and traditions list indicates the views of a very narrow spectrum of students, and I can guarantee you that the vast majority of students hate Jimmy Ames' classes with a passion. The man couldn't teach a fish to swim if his life depended on it.
Thanks for the very clever and insightful article.
This warped link features animals copulating. View at your own discretion... but it's easily work-safe. Quite entertaining.
"My ritual differs slightly. What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall. Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers. Then I hop right back into the stall because our dog, Earnest, who has been alone in the basement all night building up powerful dog emotions, has come bounding and quivering into the bathroom and wants to greet me with 60 or 70 thousand playful nips, any one of which -- bear in mind that I am naked and, without my contact lenses, essentially blind -- could result in the kind of injury where you have to learn a whole new part if you want to sing the "Messiah," if you get my drift. Then I hop right back out, because Robert, with that uncanny sixth sense some children have -- you cannot teach it; they either have it or they don't -- has chosen exactly that moment to flush one of the toilets. Perhaps several of them."
-- Dave Barry
There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
-- Lord Thomas Rober Dewar
Serfs up!
-- Spartacus
Don't take life so serious, son, it ain't nohow permanent.
-- Walt Kelly
Mastery of UNIX, like mastery of language, offers real freedom. The price
of freedom is always dear, but there's no substitute. Personally, I'd
rather pay for my freedom than live in a bitmapped, pop-up-happy dungeon
like NT.
-- Thomas Scoville, Performance Computing
Billy: Mom, you know that vase you said was handed down from generation to generation?
Mom: Yes?
Billy: Well, this generation dropped it.
love, v.: I'll let you play with my life if you'll let me play with yours.
Why are programmers non-productive? Because their time is wasted in meetings.Why are programmers rebellious?
Because the management interferes too much.Why are the programmers resigning one by one?
Because they are burnt out.Having worked for poor management, they no longer value their jobs.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
I've known him as a man, as an adolescent and as a child -- sometimes on the same day.
-- Unknown
[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had
a complete set.
-- Ring Lardner
Worst Month of 1981 for Downhill Skiing: August. The lift lines are the shortest, though.
-- Steve Rubenstein
Without a goal, a life is nothing. Sometimes the goal becomes a man's entire
life, an all-consuming passion. But once that goal is achieved, what then?
Oh, poor man, what then?
-- LADY HELENA ATREIDES, her personal journals
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
Have you ever felt like a wounded cow
halfway between an oven and a pasture?
walking in a trance toward a pregnant
seventeen-year-old housewife's two-day-old cookbook?
-- Richard Brautigan
P FN without DEF, 0:1
You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on.
-- Hepler, Systems Design 182
Fry: Hey, I'm startin' to get the hang of this game. The blerns are loaded. The
count's three blerns and two anti-blerns, and the
infield blern rule is in effect. Right?
Leela: Other than the word blern, that was complete gibberish.
The garden is in mourning; The rain falls cool among the flowers. Summer shivers quietly On its way towards its end.Golden leaf after leaf
Falls from the tall acacia.
Summer smiles, astonished, feeble,
In this dying dream of a garden.For a long while, yet, in the roses,
She will linger on, yearning for peace,
And slowly
Close her weary eyes.
-- Hermann Hesse, "September"
FORTRAN rots the brain.
-- John McQuillin
If you want to see card tricks, you have to expect to take cards.
-- Harry Blackstone
A world is supported by four things: the teaming of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the righteous, and the valor of the brave.
But all of these are as nothing without a ruler who knows the art of ruling.
-- PRINCE RAPHAEL CORRINO, Discourses on Galactic Leadership
The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.
It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish.
You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.
-- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a 4BSD?
My friends all got sources, so why can't I see?
Come all you moby hackers, come sing it out with me:
To hell with the lawyers from AT&T!
It is said that the Duke Leto blinded himself to the perils of Arrakis, that he
walked heedlessly into the pit. Would it not be more likely to suggest he had
lived so long in the presence of extreme danger he misjudged a change in its
intensity? Or is it possible he deliberately sacrificed himself that his son
might find a better life? All evidence indicates the Duke was a man not easily
hoodwinked.
-- from "Muad'Dib: Family Commentaries" by the Princess Irulan
I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is -- I could be just as proud for half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey
Pretty much all I have to say is that I am very happy about this. Anna got in on schedule by plane this morning and there was much rejoicing. Wheeler was nowhere near as punctual and arrived after his stated arrival time, and a day late to boot. But we forgive him... or we will after we've properly beaten him. Our exploits for the day were numerous and entertaining, but I am far too tired to outline them. Maybe tomorrow...
Cynic: it's time for Cynic's awkward, off-color joke to diffuse the tension and get him hit so everyone can snap out of it
Mom Hoyt: Wait! I have kids in the room!
For those of you who aren't sick of the amusing things that comment-spammers leave me:
Mr. DePree also expects a "tremendous social change" in all workplaces. "When
I first started working 40 years ago, a factory supervisor was focused on the
product. Today it is drastically different, because of the social milieu.
It isn't unusual for a worker to arrive on his shift and have some family
problem that he doesn't know how to resolve. The example I like to use is a
guy who comes in and says 'this isn't going to be a good day for me, my son
is in jail on a drunk-driving charge and I don't know how to raise bail.'
What that means is that if the supervisor wants productivity, he has to know
how to raise bail."
-- Max DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman Miller Inc.
"Herman Miller's Secrets of Corporate Creativity"
The Wall Street Journal: May 3, 1988
The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.
-- George Gobel
My dear People.
My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers,
Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I welcome back at last to Bag End. Today is my
one hundred and eleventh birthday: I am eleventy-one today!"
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Udall's Fourth Law:
Any change or reform you make is going to have consequences you don't like.
Upon the hearth the fire is red, Beneath the roof there is a bed; But not yet weary are our feet, Still round the corner we may meet A sudden tree or standing stone That none have seen but we alone. Tree and flower and leaf and grass, Let them pass! Let them pass! Hill and water under sky, Pass them by! Pass them by!Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.
Then world behind and home ahead,
We'll wander back to home and bed.
Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,
Away shall fade! Away shall fade!
Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,
And then to bed! And then to bed!Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate,
And though we pass them by today
Tomorrow we may come this way
And take the hidden paths that run
Towards the Moon or to the Sun,Apple, thorn, and nut and sloe,
Let them go! Let them go!
Sand and stone and pool and dell,
Fare you well! Fare you well!
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
-- Dorothy Parker
Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
-- Henry Van Dyke
There are places I'll remember All my life though some have changed. Some forever not for better Some have gone and some remain. All these places had their moments With lovers and friends I still recall. Some are dead and some are living, In my life I've loved them all.But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compared with you,
All these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I'll love you more.
-- Lennon/McCartney, "In My Life", 1965
I would like to thank eliot for providing the link to this family-friendly warped link. Male gamers, rejoice!
The lady who tried to teach me C++ had this posted on the website for the BASIC class:
All programming work must be done in the classroom. We will be doing BASIC programming this 9 weeks. You can download TRUEBASIC but it works for only 15 minutes and thenyou have to download again. This is actually helpful for students.
Pure genius...
I hopped out of bed around 10 am this morning, grabbed a shower and gave Scott a lift to the airport so he can skip town until next Sunday. Then I returned to the apartment to clean it, pending the arrival of Wilson and his dad.
Much of this cleaning was due to the potential appearance of his mother on-campus if Wilson had been too sick to drive... but I must say that the apartment was much cleaner and looked pretty nice. Unfortunately, in the middle of the cleaning process, I managed to slice a decent little bit of my finger with a dull knive. The cut was about 1/8 of an inch long and went down to the bone on my left pointer finger. So, like a good Boy Scout, I hunted down a sock and used it to apply pressure and soak up blood... only good use for a sock I've had in quite some time.
Ardith was good enough to help me tie the sock in place some hours later, and Wilson kindly put his medical kit at my disposal when he arrived. Currently, the cut is healing nicely, but it makes moving things around the apartment very difficult. Sadly, my clever ploy to get Anna to come back early to tend to her wounded boyfriend didn't work.
Fortunately, we managed to move all of Wilson's stuff in between the intermittent torrential downpours and in spite of my messed up finger. Currently all of my well-done cleaning is being rendered for naught as we rearrange the apartment from summer mode to scholastic grinder mode. At least the beds should be ready for occupancy...
In case anyone ever wondered why people like me occasionally lash out at inane profs or end up really tired after dealing with some classes... I think this sums things up rather nicely.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am at my best when I have people around. I am an extrovert, and having lots of people around energizes me. Thus, with everyone popping in and being back and whatnot, my brain is starting to go to normal.
Sadly, Anna isn't here to regulate it, so you'll be seeing what the Cynic does without a wench for the next week.
*Cackles evilly and uses Dark Sith rituals to force-lightning several small cats into fertilizer*
This morning I got up and was faced with the unpleasant and daunting task of taking Anna to the airport and seeing her off for a week and a half with a straight face. I think I executed my task admirably... I kept my straight face all the way out to the car. In related notes, if you're flying in our out of Gregg County in the near future, there is massive road construction going on between LU and the Gregg County Airport.
Anyways, so I came back to the apartment and decided that the best way to distract myself was by reading and playing computer games. So I did both... at the same time. Reminded me of my good old days of Sophomore Spring Break where I did that all week. Not that I particularly miss it with any sort of regularity... but it is fun to be irresponsible and self-amusing every now and again.
So there I was, being irresponsible and I heard a knock at the door. Honest to God, my first thought was, "Oh crap, they've come to ask why I'm not at work!" Then I remembered that I'd told Chris I wasn't coming back and even so, nobody at Phys. Plant cares nearly that much... so now I was just confused.
Attempting to cover my confusion with knowledge, I sat up and looked out the peep-hole. That just made things worse.
I opened the door to find Aaron Scott, standing on my doorstep, sporting a devilish beard and looking like he'd been lost in the forest for a month. Summoning him in, I discovered that others had been informed of his pending arrival, but nobody had bothered to inform me. Odd, since he was staying with me... but not so out of character for Scott anyways to neglect a detail like that.
So we bummed around, and I was far less bored... which was good. And then he regaled me of tales of being a pewter-monkey and of his summer gone by. After bumming around for a while and chatting it up with the masses, we decided that we were hungry. So with a few hijinks, we went to crazy $0.99 a slice pizza place on the north side of town. And the pizza was fairly good... not as good as Joe's, but worth the price at least.
After such wanderings, we returned to my apartment, where I taught Scott the basics of Alpha Centauri and set him loose while I read a book. There I sat, enjoying my reading and watching Scott play, and life was good. This went on for several hours, pausing for me to wander out to check my mail and whatnot at some point in there... and we were generally amused bums.
Then around 11.30, there came a knock at my apartment door. I had some vague fears of the LU Gestapo searching for Scott, but I laid those aside to go have a look out the peephole... laying a hand on my knife for reassurance. And I was confused yet again...
Opening the door, I found a Moore... doing his typical prancing about and whatnot.
Me: "What the crap, Moore? I thought you'd be here tomorrow or Thursday."
Moore: "Oh... I thought you'd figure that out since I said I was in Chicago and all on my blog. I guess I should have been a little clearer on that."
Me: "That seems to be the name of the game today. I have a Scott also."
Around this time Scott came peeking out, hearing his name called. And there was general revelry and amusement that another SC member had returned home.
Moore regaled us with tales of his rusty pickup and its devouring of 9 quarts of automatic transmission fluid between Chicago and Longview. And we mocked him, and then helped him unload his stuff. I got stuck with the stupidly unwieldy and heavy 21" monitor for the second year in a row.
After all was said and done, I offered each a spot on one of the many couches in 12A. We chatted, we cursed Moore, we sympathized with his many expenses in the trek south, I blogged this, and we went to bed. If two more unexpected friends want to show up tomorrow, be my guest.
Content provided by comment spammers:
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2% and it's all because of my motivational techniques, like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come.
-- Homer Simpson
You Only Move Twice
An OS/2 professional visits a seminar for Windows 95. During the practice lesson Bill Gates asks him: "What do you like about Windows 95?" He answers, "That YOU have to use it."
"A word to the wise: a credentials dicksize war is usually a bad idea on the net."
(David Parsons in c.o.l.development.system, about coding in C.)
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely
pointless.
-- Calvin
My life needs a rewind/erase button.
-- Calvin
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
BOFH Excuse #270:
Someone has messed up the kernel pointers
If God had intended Man to Walk, He would have given him Feet.
People usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed.
Nothing lasts forever.
Where do I find nothing?
Take me drunk, I'm home again!
Cold be hand and heart and bone,
and cold be sleep under stone;
never more to wake on stony bed,
never, till the Sun fails and the Moon is dead.
In the black wind the stars shall die,
and still on gold here let them lie,
till the dark lord lifts his hand
over dead sea and withered land.
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
After surfing around for a while, I've decided that my current link selection is inadequate and will be adding the following:
Out Ioway - Ardith's parents are now blogging (actually, just her mom has posted as of now) and are entertaining me to no end. Read it, it's hillarious.
Men In Hats - I don't know why I haven't linked up any comics yet, but Men In Hats is funny and irreverant. In other words, just my style.
Something Positive - You love it, I love it, I used to steal bandwidth from them. Great comics... home of some of my favorites.
8-Bit Theatre - Amusing story-line, Black Mage, and wonderful graphics.
Queen of Wands - Home of the Grammar Nazi.
PVP - Most successful online comic ever.
So I decided that I wasn't going to be responsible today. After all, earlier tonight, I was wide awake and full of wonder, prompting a night of gaming and reading. So here I sit, very much tired after enjoying all of that gaming and reading and realizing that I really ought to be up in a couple of hours. Ah well... fun times as long as I don't do it too much.
Who Needs Sleep?
-Barenaked LadiesNow I lay me down not to sleep
I just get tangled in the sheets
I swim in sweat three inches deep
I just lay back and claim defeatChapter read and lesson learned
I turned the lights off while she burned
So while she's three hundred degrees
I throw the sheets off and I freezeLids down, I count sheep
I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts is
that I won't sleep
I countdown, I look aroundWho needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
Who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World War
My hands are locked up tight in fists
My mind is racing, filled with lists
of things to do and things I've done
Another sleepless night's begunLids down, I count sheep
I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts is
that I won't sleep
I countdown, I look aroundWho needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
Who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World WarWho needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
Who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World WarThere's so much joy in life,
so many pleasures all around
But the pleasure of insomnia
is one I've never found
With all life has to offer,
there's so much to be enjoyed
But the pleasures of insomnia
are ones I can't avoidLids down, I count sheep
I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts is
that I won't sleep
I countdown, I look aroundHala Hala Hala
Who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
Who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World War[Repeat]
Sadly, Guatemala has abandoned me to go home to his family out in West Texas for a couple of weeks. At least I get another weekend with Anna before she follows suit.
If you are coming in to LU sometime soon, a prospective date of arrival would be nice to get my spirits up.
"Damn you thing! Do what I want you to do!
Do what I want you to do, not what I tell you to do!"
--Jared to his computer
So when I got home last Tuesday, my mom mentioned that her laptop had been acting up. Giving it several cursory glances, I promised to do whatever needed dealing with to make it stop acting slower than a dead sloth. Earlier today, I sat down at it to run diagnostics. No virii, no spyware, no malware, no suspicious programs, nothing. Any number of cleanup tactics didn't work, all of the while making it clearer and clearer that this computer needed reformatting.
Sadly, because I didn't come to Ohio thinking that I would be doing much computer maintenance, I left most of my software and tools in Texas. Thus I commenced with downloading images of the cds that I would need and wandered off to do other things. Mid-afternoon I came back to check on the images and commenced backing up all of Mom's stuff. Around 11 or so, I was finally ready... or so I thought.
"Oh... oops. Jonny doesn't have burning software on his computer. Guess I ought to download that so that I can use it to burn those images for Mom's computer." And thus I commenced getting those and chatted with Anna, praying that this wouldn't keep me up too late. Shortly after midnight (eastern) Anna went to bed and I decided that it was time to get to work.
"Great, now I've got cd-burning installed on the relatively-new desktop machine. Let's burn some cd's. Wait... no burner?" It was true, the only two machines (out of 5) in the house with burners attached to them were my brother's laptop (which was locked-down in his bedroom with him asleep) and the old family computer (which is powered-down and disconnected at the moment.) Silly me, I figured Jonny would salvage the burner to place in the new machine... turns out he's too lazy. So now I have to go drag the machine up from the basement and connect it to a monitor, keyboard, mouse, network or go wake up Geoff and thieve his laptop. I cursed and went to get a coke.
20 minutes later, I'm still cursing and realizing that I don't think well when I'm stressed-out and tired. But wait... the external DVD burner might still be in the Living Room with all of the stuff from Dad's picture digitizing project. And sure enough... it was. It even had the cd's for the software and drivers it needed. So there I went, uninstalling the burning software from the new machine to install the new burning software and configure the dvd burner. And after 5 restarts, I burned off my cd's and now I was finally ready to go... and it was 1 am.
I started the computer reformatting, and began to suspect the problem with Mom's computer all along was the hard drive. Reformatting in NTFS kept me there until about 3 am. At this point, I started installing and updating, while trying to stay awake and read my books. It's now about 4, and I have decided that I will do something stupid if I didn't get to sleep... assuming I haven't already. My ride to the airport leaves at 10.45 and there's still a lot of stuff not done like packing and finishing transferring files back.
Stay tuned...
Me: She can never really explain why she doesn't like something; she just doesn't like it.
Mom: Well... that's typical of a woman, really.
Today, for the first time in entirely too many months, I heard an intellectually-satisfying sermon. It was a lot like getting something back that I'd forgotten I'd lost. Maybe because I've had to go without that for so long, I've stifled the need and tried forget about it, but today I was reacquainted with my long-lost friend.
I guess that brings me to my conundrum about Longview. I know I haven't visited all of the churches there, and right now I'm convinced that I'm where God wants me... but that doesn't mean that I particularly appreciate the fact that I don't get intellectual fulfillment from church except when Dr. Watson preaches.
I could search for another church... but I really hate church-shopping and in the end, I'm about out of leads anyways. Honestly, I don't know what to do at this junction. I guess I'll just ride it out to graduation and see what comes then.
All that to say is that I had forgotten how great it was to come home to intelligent sermons that stimulate the brain cells and encourage faith that is neither blind nor unreasoning. We need a church like that in Longview, Texas... badly!
Today was the day of shopping. You see, I need some new shorts and new sandals. Rather, I needed them... because in the space of 40 minutes I managed to purchase 4 new pairs of shorts and 2 new pairs of sandals from 3 different stores. That's why men are much better shoppers than women. Oh yeah... and my mom was along to pay for said clothes and to find the best prices.
You know, even with all of the quotations I get from everyone else, I think blondes have a corner on the market. Today's contributions are from Tim's little blonde sister, Christy.
Christy: You know you want to help me move up to Miami on Friday.
Me: I don't know... what's it worth to you?
Christy: (in a voice used to coax elementary kids) I'll give you a Twiiiinkieeee...
Me: I don't think that's going to be enough
Christy: (unabashedly bargaining in the same voice) Two twinkies?
"Mom... you need to come manage your son. We need a castration out here!"
-Christy
Now for the proper effect here, I need everyone to visualize someone who's about 5'4" and barely 100 lbs. She's very cute, quite innocent, and she just exudes the impression of an impish cherub combined with Polyanna. She's a lot of fun, a very stereotypical clueless blonde (though quite smart) and a great adopted little sister. That said, she's one of those people who if she uttered any cusswords, you would suspect a ventriloquist was nearby. She's not quite that innocent, but she certainly seems it.
A comment spammer from a discount drug website was leaving most amusing content to spam off of. Thusly, I am recording all of the content and ripping out the links:
Q: How does a hacker fix a function which doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A: He changes the domain.
Everyone wants results, but no one is willing to do what it takes to get them.
-- Dirty Harry
The Least Successful Collector
Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting. She was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of the works of Shakespeare.
One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond legibility. Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms. The remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
BOFH Excuse #298: Not enough interrupts
"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like
`Psychic Wins Lottery'?"
-- Jay Leno
BOFH Excuse #20: divide-by-zero error
Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.
-- W.C. Fields
"I prefer the blunted cudgels of the followers of the Serpent God."
-- Sean Doran the Younger
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age
brings wisdom.
-- H.L. Mencken
Egotism, n:
Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
Egotist, n:
A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Inspiration without perspiration is usually sterile.
Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.
-- Homer Simpson
El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer
There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.
-- Cato
Nothing is but what is not.
"Mom! He scared the devil out of me... and that makes him retarded!"
- My Brother Jonny
Jonny: Can a brain tumor make you look retarded?
Mom: Yes
Jonny: Then he's retarded
Just to warn you all, I will be heading out at a bright and early hour tomorrow so as to visit my home in Cincinnati, Ohio. If anyone wants souveneirs, Skyline Chili, or Reds parafanelia, comment here. I will keep you posted as best as I can.
If your cat is jealous of your significant other and turns into a pain in the ass, you ditch the cat. Or if you're some of the nutjobs in the Northeast, you get a family counselor to work out your animal's jealousy issues and get kitty Prozac. I only wish I was kidding... read about it here.
Overheard at the Rangers' game today:
"His dad was a president and he owned a baseball team, what more do you need to know?! Elect him goddamnit!"
Just proving yet again that idiocy is no respector of race, creed, religion, political affiliation, etcetera, etcetera...
(though come think about it, it does seem to have a great respect for gender... showing great affiliation with those who lack a Y chromosome)