December 01, 2008
Art Imitating Life
A few weeks ago, I was reminded of the existence of PhD comics by my cousin, who is currently doing graduate work in sociology at UT Austin. The link to the comic is still down there on my list, but sadly I gave up regularly reading comics about a year ago. It was sort of odd to read PhD again and realize that I hadn't visited since I started at Baylor. It was even more odd (and frightening, and depressing, and etc.) to stumble across a few scenes stolen directly from my life as I trolled through the archive. Check it out:
Oh, magical time management skills, why do you continue to elude me? (Let the snarky shots at the timestamp on this post begin.)
November 21, 2008
Don't Close the Money Hole!
In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
Personally, I think we should outsource the Money Hole.
November 11, 2008
Shillelaghs and Shamrocks!
An Irish band called "Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys" (yes, really) presents a celebratory election song: "There's No One as Irish as Barack Obama."
You can tell they're really from Ireland because they think Texas is celebrating McCain's loss. Catchy song, though.
October 29, 2008
What?
I just like this song . . . No, seriously, what?
>.>
<.<
And, for the record: Yes, comparing Sarah Palin to Evita is probably totally sexist.
October 16, 2008
October 02, 2008
"Unknown" Candidate '08?!
As you've no doubt seen by now, the Internet is abuzz with the news of this "effort to elect an unknown random person as President" . . . and imagine my surprise to find that they're all talking about someone we know personally. Maybe I will vote 3rd party this year, after all.
Details here.
September 25, 2008
Head of Skate
After Matt Damon compared Sarah Palin's spot on the ticket to "a really bad Disney movie" a few weeks ago, it was only a matter of time before someone went and made the trailer for that movie. Here is Head of Skate:
I have to say, first and foremost this is a hilarious, spot-on dig at the unbearable committee-written crap that Disney churns out for families these days. I'm pretty sure I've seen movies just like this a few times . . . The Pacifier, for instance. "From the producers of The Mighty Ducks and Syriana." Lol.
September 18, 2008
You and Your Tina Fey Glasses *Update*
Tina Fey on Sexism
Emmy Red Carpet Guy: The McCain campaign...I guess they thought it sexist? They responded...kind of the whole thing was...TINA FEY: I saw one lady trying to form a thought that it was sexist on the news, but she didn't really get it together. Probably because she was a lady and she was dumb. ... Wait. Is that sexist?
Nailed it.
September 17, 2008
Research and Bibliographic Methods, Lesson #1
"What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books."
--Thomas Carlyle
"I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy."
--Frank Zappa
"Of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh."
--Ecclesiastes Chapter 12, verse 12
"The multitude of books is making us ignorant."
--Voltaire
"The number of books will grow continually, and one can predict that a time will come when it will be almost as difficult to learn anything from books as from the direct study of the whole universe. It will be almost as convenient to search for some bit of truth concealed in nature as it will be to find it hidden away in an immense multitude of bound volumes."
--Denis Diderot
I've never heard of Denis Diderot, but he was a prophet. You have no idea. Seriously, you don't.
September 15, 2008
The Renewed Mind is the Key
I promise you've never seen anything like this before.
Don't be a big chicken. Sit still for the whole thing (rocking with laughter is permitted). The dance solo that starts at around 1:50 is totally worth it. Apparently the source of this is a non-trinitarian cult called The Way International. There's another video of there's up on YouTube called "Our Promised Seed" but I can't get it to play for some reason. Probably just as well. It couldn't possibly live up to my expectations.
August 21, 2008
August 19, 2008
Thunderbolts, Saints, and Blue Tigers
So it is also, of course, with the contradictory charges of the anti-Christians about submission and slaughter. It is true that the church told some men to fight and others not to fight; and it is true that those who fought were like thunderbolts and those who did not fight were like statues. All this simply means that the church preferred to use its Super-men and to use its Tolstoyans. There must be some good in the life of battle, for so many good men have enjoyed being soldiers. There must be some good in the idea of non-resistance, for so many good men seem to enjoy being Quakers. All that the church did (so far as that goes) was to prevent either of these good things from ousting the other. They existed side by side [...] the paradox of the prophets was fulfilled, and, in the soul of St. Louis, the lion lay down with the lamb. But remember that this text is too lightly interpreted. It is constantly assured, especially in our Tolstoyan tendencies, that when the lion lies down with the lamb the lion becomes lamb-like. But that is brutal annexation and imperialism on the part of the lamb. That is simply the lamb absorbing the lion instead of the lion eating the lamb. The real problem is: Can the lion lie down with the lamb and still retain his royal ferocity? That is the problem the church attempted; that is the miracle she achieved.
-- G.K. Chesterton (from "The Paradoxes of Christianity" in Orthodoxy)
Silly examples are always simpler; let us suppose a man wanted a particular kind of world; say, a blue world. He would have no cause to complain of the slightness or swiftness of his task; he might toil for a long time at the transformation; he could work away (in every sense) until all was blue. He could have heroic adventures; the putting of the last touches to a blue tiger. He could have fairy dreams; the dawn of a blue moon. But if he worked hard, that high-minded reformer would certainly (from his own point of view) leave the world better and bluer than he found it. If he altered a blade of grass to his favourite colour every day, he would get on slowly. But if he altered his favourite colour every day, he would not get on at all. If, after reading a fresh philosopher, he started to paint everything red or yellow, his work would be thrown away: there would be nothing to show except a few blue tigers walking about, specimens of his early bad manner. This is exactly the position of the average modern thinker. It will be said that this is avowedly a preposterous example. But it is literally the fact of recent history.
-- G.K. Chesterton (from "The Eternal Revolution" in Orthodoxy)
August 14, 2008
May 27, 2008
Horton Goes to Japan
I should probably post about that whole wedding in California thing, but I'ma wait a few more days for that. Things are feeling a bit hectic after the trip . . . I slept for about 16 hours on Monday, and today was my first day at the new job (part-time at the Waco Public Library), then there were errands to run and whatnot. So this evening I took Rachel to see Horton Hears a Who! at the dollar theater (Tuesday is $0.50/ticket all day!) and relax.
It was a pretty funny movie, and probably the best feature-length Seuss adaptation to date. Definitely worth the fifty cents. There was a great scene that I found on YouTube to share. Funny stuff. Oh, and if anyone knows of a blog entry about the wedding elsewhere, feel free to speak up (especially if they have pictures, which I do not).
May 12, 2008
May 04, 2008
April 15, 2008
Jon Stewart on Elitism
Cue in at about 7:25 if you don't want to watch the whole thing, though it's all good. In part:
Doesn't elite mean good? Is that not something we're looking for in a president anymore? I know elite is a "bad word" in politics and you wanna go bowling and throw back a few beers, but the job you're applying for, if you get it and it goes well, they might carve your head into a mountain. If you don't actually think that you're better than us, then what the @!$# are you doing? In fact, not only do I want an elite president, I want someone who is embarassingly superior to me.
April 06, 2008
A Pair of Essays
Oh, I guess I should say something here . . . for those of you who are not yet aware, I got accepted into the Baylor English MA program on Thursday. I'll be starting in the fall with 6 hours of classes (not yet nailed down) and a research assistantship. So that's cool . . . I'm very excited and looking forward to preparing myself (and stocking up on "fun") during the next few months.
Anyway, that really should be its own post and I should make another post for this (things are sparse enough around here already). But nevermind that . . . here are 2 cool items worth reading.
The first is the best graduation speech I've ever encountered. It begins thusly: "Members of the faculty, parents, guests, and graduates, have no fear. I am well aware that on a day of such high excitement, what you require, first and foremost, of any speaker is brevity. I shall not fail you in this respect. There are exactly eighty-five sentences in my speech, four of which you have just heard." And then it goes on to ask the question, "Are you an Athenian or a Visigoth?"
The second is an essay by Jeffrey Overstreet entitled "The Eagles Are Coming!" It examines the affirmation of hope in fairy tales and fantasy.
Enjoy.
March 13, 2008
March 08, 2008
Super-Size Me
Have a look at this fascinating and eye-opening photo-essay entitled "What Is Eaten In One Week Around The World." It features 9 photos of families from six continents posing with a display of the food they consume in one week. Above each picture is where the family is from, and how much the spend each week (in their currency and in American dollars). The photos are ordered from most to least spent, with a family from Germany at the top ($500) and a family from Chad at the bottom ($1.23). Take a really close look at the American table and see how many fast-food brand names you can pick out.
February 19, 2008
If you haven't yet . . .
. . . do your country a service and go here to see No End in Sight. It will take an hour and 42 minutes of your time. Watch it in chunks if you have to. This eminently fair and balanced Oscar-nominated documentary not only dares to suggest, through interviews with the very first people on the ground in Iraq, that our invasion of that country was one of the most poorly-planned and ill-advised military operations in our history (perhaps all of history) . . . but that it didn't have to be.
Information is power. Go watch the documentary.
February 16, 2008
January 28, 2008
December 15, 2007
Eine Kleine Weihnachtsmusik
For lack of anything better to post just at present, Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.
November 30, 2007
A Devastating Deception
Jeffrey Overstreet has a great Q&A about The Golden Compass up at CT Movies. It's all good reading, but one part in particular caught my eye.
Isn't this just the Harry Potter controversy all over again?No. This time, there really is a serious problem. But God forbid that we respond to Pullman the way we've responded to J.K. Rowling. We've just been through a decade in which fearful, judgmental people have burned Harry Potter books, called J.K. Rowling a witch, and warned us that children who read her books will become warlocks. (This reminds me of those folks who told me, when I was ten, that if I saw The Empire Strikes Back, I might be lured into Buddhism.) What we missed with Harry Potter was the power of fairy tales, which use magic metaphorically and symbolically to help us understand mysterious concepts and appreciate the marvelous, otherworldly reality of grace.
And we encouraged a generation of children to believe that you can't be a Christian and also value fairy tales—a devastating deception. As Lewis and Tolkien have discussed and proposed, fairy tales reflect the truth of the gospel in a unique and timeless way. In fact, Lewis became a Christian through discussions with Tolkien about fairy tales.
Many Christians also overlooked the fact that, in damning the Potter series, we were persecuting a Christian woman who has admitted that the process of telling those stories was a journey of sorting out her own faith and persistent doubts. We missed that there were Bible verses woven through the stories and glimmering with truth.
But Pullman is a different storyteller. He says, "I've been surprised by how little criticism I've got. Harry Potter's been taking all the flak. I'm a great fan of J.K. Rowling, but the people—mainly from America's Bible Belt—who complain that Harry Potter promotes Satanism or witchcraft obviously haven't got enough in their lives. Meanwhile, I've been flying under the radar, saying things that are far more subversive than anything poor old Harry has said. My books are about killing God."
I hadn't thought about it in those terms, but it's true. It's really true. We are in the process of teaching an entire generation of Christian kids that fantasy is wicked and dangerous. Fortunately, a lesson that off-base doesn't take too well. Still . . . what a cataclysmic screw-up.
November 11, 2007
Cry "Guatemalan!"
Via Vengeful Cynic
A Guatemalan! A Guatemalan! My kingdom for a Guatemalan!
Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable Guatemalan.
The Guatemalan doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a Guatemalan
The Guatemalan doth protest too much, methinks.
Nay, faith, let me not play a Guatemalan; I have a beard coming.
August 19, 2007
Yellow Fever
It's the Springfield me. You can do this, too. Just go here. I've known about it for weeks, but I didn't want to go hunt up a picture and so on and so forth. And then I finally just did. Fun.
August 14, 2007
August 07, 2007
Knowledge?!
Just a few things:
Stephen Colbert's Word is College Credit (via onegoodmove, QuickTime required).
Also, OMG this is the best website evar!!!!1
August 01, 2007
June 26, 2007
May 01, 2007
Rejected!
I got this letter from a book I read today: Life's Little Annoyances by Ian Urbina. It's a fun little collection of passive-aggressive responses to things that drive us all up the wall. It is a rejection letter to send people who send you rejection letters. It made me chuckle.
Dear __________,
Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.
I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well qualified organizations. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for me to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection.
Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my requirements at this time. As a result, I will be starting employment with your firm on the first of the month.
Circumstances change and one can never know when new demands for rejection arise. Accordingly, I will keep your letter on file in case my requirements for rejection change.
Please do not regard this letter as a criticism of your qualifications in attempting to refuse me employment. I wish you the best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
Sincerely,
_____________
April 21, 2007
Do Bureaucrats Have Souls?
Joshua Bell, one of the greatest violinists in the world (he played the music for The Red Violin), set up shop in a Washington D.C. Metro station a few weeks ago during morning rush hour. He pulled out his violin, a 1713 Stradivarius (one of the finest instruments in existence), set up his open case in front of him with a little "seed money" in it, and played some of the best classical pieces ever composed for nearly 45 minutes. Literally thousands of people passed within earshot during that time. Fewer than half a dozen people actually stopped to listen. He pulled in $32.17.
This article ("Pearls Before Breakfast") has the whole story (and I do mean the whole story . . . it's really long). It is an excellent article. Asa sent it to me. Go read it.
April 04, 2007
March 28, 2007
Deathly Hallows News
Okay, you've probably already seen it, but . . .Harry Potter cover art! And this will be the second-longest book in the series behind Order of the Phoenix. But I'm still bitter about the release date. Why not 07/07/07? Why not?!
March 14, 2007
Happy Reading
One of my favorite websites used to be theforce.net; the place for everything Star Wars. I discovered it back in 1998, and it had everything (it also looked a lot better . . . the site was "revamped" sometime between Episode II and Episode III, and I don't like the change). One of its several dozen features was periodical editorials about all sorts of topics. The first one was about the superiority of Star Wars over Star Trek, but there were all sorts of topics: merchandising debates, endless thematic analyses.
Then, during darker times, there were defenses of, and predictions for, the prequel trilogy. They had titles like "Why Episode I is Brilliant." Never underestimate the power of denial. I don't know whether the people involved ran out of topics or ran out of enthusiasm, but either way the last editorial was posted in April of 2003. My own rabidity towards the subject flickered and went out a little over a year later, and I haven't thought about those editorials at all in a few years.
I don't remember what I was doing at Strange Horizons. Just one of those things you stumble across when you're wandering the interwebs. On the site, I found this essay . . . a smart, funny, and scathing critique of the prequels that should be read by everyone who either enjoyed them or was vaguely bothered by them (I guess I was both). The author addresses too many points to summarize, and references everything from Oedipus Rex to Dune along the way. Great essay. Check it out.
And while you're at it, take a stroll through the article archives. Just this afternoon I've read several fascinating essays on such disparate topics as the variety of "megastructures" in science fiction, the use of maps in modern fantasy, firewalking, a scale for assessing horror flicks, linguistic misconceptions in constructed languages. I think I found at least one topic to interest every single member of the Shadow Council . . . and more than one that would interest most of us. Happy reading.
February 21, 2007
A Triple Feature
This is rather an interesting piece (albeit a few years old now): Juxtaposed interviews on faith and film with Michael Medved, Jeffrey Overstreet, and Todd Rendleman (if you don't know who they are, their credentials preface the interview). I especially liked this question:
Q: What do you think is at the root of the historical tension between people of faith and Hollywood? Why are some people of faith threatened by film?MEDVED: It goes right to the fundamental difference between cinematic and religious communication. Movies are a visual medium; psychologists who have analyzed the way they reach audiences estimate that films rely on visual images for 70–75 percent of their impact. Judeo-Christian faith, on the other hand, relies on words. Whenever God has communicated to his people, he has used spoken or written words, not images. Neither Moses nor Jesus drew pictures or created visions for their followers. Movies that appeal to the eyes touch us on an emotional level, while faith messages that appeal to the ears reach for the mind and soul.
OVERSTREET: Christians are quite accustomed to preaching. Art seems threatening to us because it is more about exploration than exposition. We hastily look for "the message" of a movie, failing to understand that art is for reflection, contemplation, discussion and discovery. Further, in categorizing as "Christian" versus "secular," we prescribe where and when God can be revealed. A beautiful photograph of a mountain becomes "Christian art" when a verse is printed on the sky above the peak. Then we think we know what it means, and we do not have to think for ourselves. This cultivates an environment of lazy and reactionary intellects, and we fail to train ourselves to discern evidence of God in the excellence and beauty of art outside the walls of the church.
RENDLEMAN: Historically, this debate has always been a question of sex. Movies have the potential to move and excite us — emotionally, intellectually and sexually. Since the birth of film, a key factor in its appeal has been the promise of sexual excitement. For Christians, this is often at odds with Christ's warning to not look lustfully at others. This has created a strange, conflicted relationship between many religious persons and the movies. Art needs to thoughtfully address all aspects of human life, and the issue of sexuality in film remains a sensitive one. I can't think of an issue that merits greater discernment and reflection from people of faith.
Medved's response is dumb dumb dumb. The more I think about it, the dumber it sounds. Of course, my opinion of Medved is not generally high, but there it is. He actually surprised me with a few of his responses, though. Seems he can actually be reasonable when he's not pushing a . . . oh, what do they call those? . . . Oh, yes. An agenda. Rendleman's response is both true and thought-provoking, but too limited, I think. There's more than just that at work here, and I would have liked for him to keep going. Overstreet's response, however, is what prompted me to post this interview. Awesome stuff.
February 06, 2007
Charming
Someone requested a book from the branch library, and when it came I just had to leaf through it. It's a children's book about the CIA. Special. There are plenty of quotables, but I was particularly amused (enraged?) by two excerpts:
The CIA has carried out many covert actions throughout the world. It has tried to change governments in Laos, Vietnam, Guatemala, and Tibet. It has also made changes in Iran, a United States friend and enemy at different times over the past 50 years. The CIA helped return the shah of Iran to power in 1953. The shah is like Iran's king. The CIA also trained Iran's secret police. In 1979, these CIA-trained police helped Ayatollah Khomeini take over the shah's government.
It's fascinating, isn't it, how that paragraph is true without being the Truth? This portion is after a brief segment explaining the CIA's commitment to fostering democracy, so I suppose it would be a little confusing for the kiddies to explain that two of those countries were just getting used to their first-ever democratically-elected governments when the CIA came in and screwed everything up. And it would make them look a little silly to explain how much Ayatollah Khomeini hated the US and how bad it was that those CIA-trained guys helped him take over the country. Still, I can't help but think that there's a way to teach the kiddies a little history without distorting their perspective so very, very much.
All covert actions are ordered by the president of the United States. But some covert actions break the law in foreign countries. If the U.S. government gets caught, it has to be able to say it did not know about the actions. This is called plausible denial.
Wait, wait, wait . . . so if even children know that all covert actions are ordered by the president, how plausible is the denial reeeeally? I think "plausible" may need to be one of the vocabulary words of the week, class. Oh, and when the American government does it, it may be "plausible denial," but when you kids do it, it's still . . . what's the word? Oh, yeah. Lying. So don't get any ideas.
We make me sick.
January 18, 2007
Mayans, Mirth, Mendacious Manipulation, & Many-Happy-Returns
So, a few random things:
Chattaway over on Filmchat tells me that Mel Gibson is creating a stir on my home turf. I should see if I can find that article on the Prensa Libre website . . . It kind of makes me want to go see the movie in March, surrounded by a group of Guatemalans (I haven't seen it yet, and may not). That 43% pure Mayan statistic, though . . . not sure where that came from. First, it's kind of like saying "pure European," and assuming that all Europeans are a unified nationality of some kind. Second, I don't think there are very many "pure" Mayans left, whatever that means. But maybe I'm wrong . . . I have been shockingly ignorant before.
I was clearing in a cart of new books today and I picked up Reduced Shakespeare: The Complete Guide for the Attention-Impaired [abridged] by Reed Martin and Austin Tichenor. That made my day. It is sitting on my desk, waiting to go home with me.
Returning, for a moment, to Filmchat, here is a report of some pretty shady dealings between FoxFaith and the evangelical community. I foresee nothing but bad for the truly artistic and the truly spiritual in an unholy alliance between corporations and congregations. I can only hope that movies of the FoxFaith variety continue to get wait they deserve and the whole business meets an imminent and sudden end. In better news, I hear that The Nativity Story pretty much bombed, making films that hope to capitalize on The Passion's success a harder sell . . . at least for now.
Finally, Rachel joins me at 23 years of age today, so wish her a happy birthday. I guess I'll eventually have to stop reporting her age, but for now youth continues to abound (she thinks she's ancient, I know we're not). And on that note, I adjourn this blogpost for festivities. Adieu.
January 04, 2007
Old News and Bad News
I am peeved. After months of attentive awareness interspersed with periodic active searching, the title of the 7th Harry Potter is finally announced, and I miss it for 2 solid weeks. And I don't even know how it happened. Something is dreadfully wrong with that.
Anyway, the title is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. This is by far the most mysterious and intriguing title to date as it uses a word which is neither immediately familiar (as with "goblet" or "chamber" or "prince" or "stone") in addition to making reference to something within the book which is not already familiar to a reader of the series (as with "Azkaban" or "Order of the Phoenix"). As a result, speculation about the meaning of the title is apt to be a bit more varied than with a previous volume. This is also a very dark, somber title. It suggests a certain adult seriousness not really found in the other titles.
Of course, the very first thing the title suggests when broken down is a vague concept of holiness through death, which would certainly line up with John Granger's theory that each title is a reference to Christ. Granger himself flirts with this possibility in his own clumsy way over on his website (I have rarely known anyone to make such brilliant connections in such stupid ways).
But speaking of brilliant connections, this essay makes, I would say, the true case for the meaning of the title. In a nutshell, it discusses the significance of "hallow" as a reference to the grail relics of Chretien de Troyes, which opens up a rich, deep field of symbolism and significance (as fellow students from Dr. Watson's Grail Quest course will know all too well). How appropriate that this brilliant series, already so filled with canny bits of Western mythology and lore, should turn at last to draw from the quest for the Holy Grail in its final chapter. It's all speculation, of course, but I would say that this theory is right in line with everything we know about the way Rowling writes fantasy. It just feels right.
Anyway, in the realm (while I'm discussing books) of the not-so-exciting, I ran across this a few moments ago. Do you remember when libraries were repositories for the preservation of cultural history and heritage rather than a cultural outhouse doubling as the local Blockbuster where the unwashed masses can wallow in paperback romance trash, best-selling excrement, and the latest top-grossing redneck flick without having to shell out? They're throwing out Faulkner, Hemingway, Henry Adams, and Harper Lee! Can you imagine?!
Happily, this sort of thing runs contrary to our library's ideas of how things work, and we are in no danger of running out of shelf space in the forseeable future. Why shouldn't libraries shape the cultural tastes of their communities at least as much as they are shaped by them? That's public service for you.
November 15, 2006
Purgation
DESCENDING THEOLOGY: THE RESURRECTION
From the far star points of his pinned extremities,
cold inched in--black ice and blood ink--
till the hung flesh was empty. Lonely in that void
even for pain, he missed his splintered feet,
the human stare buried in his face.
He ached for two hands made of meat
he could reach to the end of.
In the corpse's core, the stone fist of his heart
began to bang on the stiff chest's door,
and breath spilled back into that battered shape. Now
it's your limbs he longs to flow into
from the sunflower center in your chest
outward--as warm water
shatters at birth, rivering every way.
--Mary Karr, Sinners Welcome
November 13, 2006
Edification
"Ode to LeTourneau University" by Patty Starnes Healey (as printed in the latest issue of NOW magazine)
LeTourneau has for 60 years sent its Christian students out
into the world armed with godly knowledge to turn the world about.
Integrity, wisdom and fortitude are in short supply today,
LeTourneau has taught thousands to live their lives that way.
Discovering purpose, broadening knowledge and deepening professional skills,
These traits are taught at LeTourneau to strengthen its students' wills.
Students learn there's a mighty God who leads a willing soul,
they put on God's armor as He shows them where to go.
Grounded in godly values, students show others that they care
as they volunteer thousands of hours in communities everywhere.
If one person can make a difference, how much more will thousands do?
Alumni are spread throughout the world to help God's will come true.
God has blessed LeTourneau University as its successes can attest,
it has sent godly leaders into the world, it has sent its very best.
May other universities follow the path that LeTourneau has defined,
education and excellence in all one does, following God's Word divine.
November 08, 2006
Early Christmas Present
This is the best news I've heard all season. Although, as of this writing, the defeat of Senator Macaca has not been confirmed.
Bye-bye, Rummy.
Seasoned on Impact
This was far too good not to share. Moore in particular should sit up and take note . . . shotgun shells loaded with tasty goodness. Comes in: Cajun, Lemon Pepper, Garlic, Teriyaki, Honey Mustard.
October 31, 2006
Because I'm Thoughtful
Bill O'Reilly: Do you want the United States to win in Iraq?
David Letterman:*heavy sigh* First of all, I--
O'Reilly: It's an easy question. If you don't want the United States to win--
Letterman: It's not easy for me, because I'm thoughtful.
October 26, 2006
Spasmodic Dysphonia
I'm trying hard to get a post out soon (like, before November). I've been working on it for the last week or so. Meanwhile, check this out. It's an incredible story from the blog of Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert).
October 19, 2006
You Make Me Sick
Take Four: As I listen to and observe the well-nigh incessant whining, complaining, outrageous rudeness, and (yes) even stupidity of our patrons here at the library, I am frequently tempted to blog about them. However, these occurrences are so frequent, and the specifics pass out of my memory so quickly, that it just generally doesn't happen. But seriously . . .
What is it with you people who don't wanna talk to me? You walk up and throw a stack of books and a library card at me. I start to check them out to you only to discover that they're already checked out to you. Perhaps you want to turn them in? Perhaps you'd like to renew them? I don't know . . . You didn't tell me. Sometimes you shove a driver's license in my face instead of a mysterious stack of books. What? No, really, what? I'm not a cop. I didn't just pull you over. What do you want?
Let's not kid ourselves. I know you can talk. Remember last week? When I told you you had a fine? I don't recall you having any trouble telling me off then. Did a truck happen to run over your voicebox in the meantime?
Look, I'm not asking for a friendly greeting. I don't care for small talk. Don't feel bad if you don't have a witty remark ready for me . . . Chances are I've already heard it 4 times today anyway. I understand your dilemma. Here I am, this obnoxious total stranger with whom you must establish contact in order leave with what you want. Honestly, I don't relish our fleeting interactions any more than you do. But, for both our sakes, bite the bullet and tell me exactly what you want so I can get you out of my sight that much faster. Because . . .
You make me sick.
October 18, 2006
Library Pr0n?
Check this out. As Moore would say, "Hot book-on-book action!"
I think my two favorite shots were of the British Library and Trinity College Library. I should visit these. All of them. Longview needs a top-notch, horizon-broadening employee exchange program for stuff like this. Note to self: Drop by a city council meeting on my way home some evening.
What Is It With You?
Take Three: As I listen to and observe the well-nigh incessant whining, complaining, outrageous rudeness, and (yes) even stupidity of our patrons here at the library, I am frequently tempted to blog about them. However, these occurrences are so frequent, and the specifics pass out of my memory so quickly, that it just generally doesn't happen. But seriously . . .
What is it with you people who can't read? Why are you here? We're a library. What do you think we have to offer you? You stand next to the signs that say "No Cell Phones," conversing loudly with someone neither of us can see. Sometimes you do it while I'm trying to check out your books for you. You know, the ones you can't even read, you illiterate twerp. You walk right past the signs that say "All Computers are in Use" and ask me if there are any computers available. What are you going to do on the internet if you can't read? We don't allow porn on our machines.
You know what . . . new policy. You're an illiterate idiot. Get out of my library. You can come back when you're literate. Unless you're still an idiot.
You make me sick.
October 17, 2006
But Seriously
Take Two: As I listen to and observe the well-nigh incessant whining, complaining, outrageous rudeness, and (yes) even stupidity of our patrons here at the library, I am frequently tempted to blog about them. However, these occurrences are so frequent, and the specifics pass out of my memory so quickly, that it just generally doesn't happen. But seriously . . .
What is it with you people who don't understand me when I say, "All of the computers are taken"? No, really. They are. All of them. No, I don't have any special computers set aside for college students. Or old people. Or people with 11 fingers, people who prefer Burger King to McDonald's, or freaking Somolian refugees. No. I do not have a computer that I am saving just for you, Mr. John Q. Public, you egomaniacal freak of nature. You are not important. You are not special. You are not even very well-liked. Take a number and wait like everybody else. Or better yet, go buy your own dang computer. I promise it'll always be set aside just for you. Unless you have relatives or friends who visit you at home (which I find doubtful, at best).
You make me sick.
October 16, 2006
Don't Get Me Started
As I listen to and observe the well-nigh incessant whining, complaining, outrageous rudeness, and (yes) even stupidity of our patrons here at the library, I am frequently tempted to blog about them. However, these occurrences are so frequent, and the specifics pass out of my memory so quickly, that it just generally doesn't happen. But seriously . . .
What is it with you people who show up with movies that are multiple days overdue and say, "Can't you cut me some slack? I didn't even get to watch them!" Are you kidding me? No, seriously. You had a week to get those back to me, and you didn't. Now I find out that you didn't even make good use of the extra time you took. Since you obviously couldn't come up with even so much as half an hour during the past 10 days to pop down and turn them in, it's no wonder you didn't quite find the time to watch all five of them.
No, I'm not going to reward your poor time management. No, not even if you come up with more examples of just how bad you are at getting stuff done. The only real question is, "WHY DID YOU CHECK THEM OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!" Well, that and the ever-pressing, "Is it that everyone else in your life panders to your every need, or is your self-centered excuse-mongering entirely a product of your own pathetic lack of any sense of personal responsibility?"
You make me sick.
September 30, 2006
"Special Interest"
There are web comics for everyone. The more I browse, the more convinced I am that this is the case. Take Wilson for instance, chilling (quite literally, soon) up there at Syracuse, staring approximately 3 decades of higher learning in the face.
For Wilson, there is Piled Higher and Deeper: a grad student comic strip:
Well, soon after I started working at the library, I began to notice a few choice strips pinned up here and there, and eventually I went hunting for the source. What I found was Unshelved, a librarian comic strip. I spent the last week burrowing through the entire archive (4 years of an everyday comic strip is not to be taken lightly, it turns out). I decided to finish the whole thing before adding it to my "Funnies" list over to the right . . . And I just had to share a few of my most favoritest ones. So . . . enjoy, and be sure to "check out" (har!) the rest at your leisure.
