September 08, 2003

Family Birthdays

This has been a busy, busy, busy week. It was hideous. I've had a huge amount of homework (which I still haven't completed, but I'm tired of it now), a large amount of floor stuff, and I've taken a trip home. There was also Longview Blitz. Not really worth talking about except to say that I painted some and was able to stay away from a dirty, filthy attic.

The reason I went home was because my aunt was having a little family get-together to celebrate the birthdays of my father, mother, and uncle. It wasn't until I got to my aunt's house and saw the little stack of cards that were going to be distributed to the birthday trio that I realized this would be the first birthday in several years that my parents would not be receiving some kind of home-made birthday card from my sister. I am quite certain that my mother knew this because she looked close to tears on several short occasions, but even if she needed to cry she held back the tears (at least while she was at my aunt's house). This trip made it very clear to me that my parents are still having difficulty concerning my sister's death (I know my mother is and I think my father is simply better at hiding it). I want to help them, somehow. But I don't think I can just go up to them and ask, "So, how are taking Jessica's death?" This desire to help but inability to do so makes me feel slightly nervous around them and I force myself to be slightly more upbeat that usual.

I really don't know anything else I can do for them except go home when I am able and pray.

Posted by Randy at September 8, 2003 01:32 AM