Every year I do BSF, there seems to be one main teaching God wants to get across to me. With Romans, it was about Jesus being THE Way--even for Jews. With Matthew, it was forgiveness. Last year with Life of Moses, it was about how God cares for his church--even when they act very "human" over and over again.
This last week, I'm beginning to understand how God is working in me through the study of John. It makes me nervous--but that's part of what God is also working on. God is teaching me about reliance on Him and assurance in Him even amidst deep suffering. Hence, it makes me nervous to think that God is preparing me to rely on him in suffering.
However, God has been good to me to give me a glimpse into what he's preparing me for. I don't know specifics, but He preparing me as a God-fearing mom. Motherhood is not all sunshine and daisies. And there is more suffering than just poopy diapers and lack of sleep. There's also going to be times of sickness and times of letting go and letting God. God is giving us this little girl, but she is His and he can bring her to himself at anytime. That's the hardest one for me to accept. I dearly hope I don't have to know that pain but all I can do is trust God and know that whatever pains of motherhood come to me, God is with me and is working in me and in my baby's life for His glory.Posted by Anna at January 26, 2010 12:16 AM | TrackBack