January 21, 2004

Going with the Flow

Well, I was going to put this off until tomorrow but because I'm thinking about this now after reading the others, I figure I'll post until I'm tired enough to sleep.

Socially, I am one of those who does far better in small groups and I think I always have been. Lots of people overwhelm me. I'm content to be by myself as necessary, but yeah, I do have this relational aspect. You could say I'm an extroverted introvert.

In my earliest younger days, I wanted to be friends with everyone and tried to do so yet I generally had the smaller group of friends whom I played with. Oddly enough, I think it tended to by guys. In the neighborhood, it was me, another boy and another girl, both were my age and we spent many afternoons, evenings, and weekends together. I think I would probably have been described, and still described somewhat, as fairly talkative and definitely one who liked to display my knowledge. I have clear memories of relating the minimum elevation of mountains and that 1991 was a...what's that word again? it's there in my brain......aghhhh, anyways, you know, something that can be read backwards as forwards. *Insertion the next day: palindrome! it's really funny that i remembered that 12 hours later just all of a sudden...*

This little bit of constantly displaying knowledge was perceived as bragging by all else and by the time i was in upper elementary school, I was becoming fairly disliked. Add to this that I had glasses and tended to become a teacher's pet. *sigh* I also tended to group as friends with the other strange ones who had their quirks. This continues even today :-p I was Miss Rules and and I was known to be a tattle-tale...anyways. I always had a few friends around though and I think I generally was accepted within my church age group.

Along came junior high. I realized that friends don't last forever and that they don't always like you. That hurt a lot--trying to pursue a used to be friendship that the other didn't want anymore. I also tended to be fairly dramatic with things....if I thought long enough, I could probably recall more details surrounding the "Cold War" from Orchestra. It didn't help that I wanted to be the best in just about everything and I sort of tended towards that route. I have a competitive streak. At this point, my little bro was having his own issues socially in school, far worse than I and sometimes that would come back upon me as my success would haunt him. Bus rides....*shudders* If it weren't for those two or three friends on the bus...sometimes just the one.

I was involved in middle school--basketball, student council, and a few other things. At functions that involved a lot of people, I found a few good friends and hung out with them--dances, parties, school lunch. Church was interesting during this time. I was in AWANA and had a close group of friends there...bonded much by the trials of our 6th grade leader and a sucky Sunday School. We made our own fun--sleepovers, team things, Bible quiz success and dreaming about next year when we were a part of the youth group.

Alright, I'm going to have to pick up on this later. Ya see, when I start remembering back, I remember lots of different things and it gets harder to stick with one topic. Besides, it's rather late for the weakly me and I haven't been doing well health wise the last couple of days. Today was a fairly bad day with the heart--enough to concern me. Maybe it was just reminding me that I'm not a perfectly healthy. So now that my eyes are beginning to close other minute or two, I'll crawl into bed.

Posted by Anna at January 21, 2004 01:34 AM