April 08, 2003

The Original List

The Cynic Will Exact Vengeance Upon: Worthless Idiots

In that vein: here are some idiotic things that I've thought up in the past week. If I ever do any of these, I want my ass kicked.

1) Become a vegetarian.
2) Start worshipping animals.
3) Eat a tofu burger.
4) Go out with a girl that a good friend of mine is interested in behind his back.
5) Hit a girl when (when my life isn't being theatened by said girl.)
6) Buy an Apple computer.
7) Change how I look for a wench.
8) Sell out my morals for a wench.
9) Stop referring to wenches as wenches.
10) Refer to a Business Major as a "tough degree"
11) Stop being cynical.
12) Start espousing feminism.
13) Refer to the MRS degree (the other EE) as anything other than MRS
14) Stay at LU as long/longer than Lurch.
15) Turn into a "Happy Person"
16) Hand a weapon over to a woman.
17) Commit to do an undisclosed favor ("Can you do me a favor?")
18) Commit to something I don't know anything about.
19) Become a member of another worthless committee or organization.
20) Run from the cops when I get pulled over.
21) Join the Peace Corps
22) Ask for advice and then ignore it
23) Break up with someone in a letter
24) Tell a friend goodbye in a letter/email/phone call
25) Arm a wench

more to come as I remember them or they come to me...

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at April 8, 2003 02:26 AM