March 26, 2004

The Wench Commandments

And the Wench spoke all these words:
"I am the Wench thy Wench, which brought the out of the land of Singleness, and into the House of Bondage.

  1. Thou shalt have no other Wench before me.
  2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any other wench that is in year above, or that is in the year beneath, or that is in the year thou art in.
    Thou shalt not talk thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Wench thy Wench am a jealous Wench, visiting the iniquity of the male upon their children unto the third and fourth generation of them that ignore me. And shewing food unto thousands of them that serve me, and keep my whims.
  3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Wench thy Wench unmannerly*; for the Wench will not hold him guiltless that taketh her name unmannerly.
  4. Remember the Wench's day, to keep it faithfully. Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy homework, But the Wench day is the day of the Wench thy Wench: in it thou shalt not do any homework, thou, nor thy room-mate, nor thy suitemate, thy friend, nor thy Professor, nor thy fish, nor thy Previewer that is within thy room: For in six days the Wench let you do homework, let you do schoolwork, and let you work at your job and all the work that is in it, and she appointed you to take her out on the seventh day: wherefore the Wench blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it.
  5. Honour thy Wench's father and thy Wench's mother: that thy days may be long upon the home which the Wench thy Wench may give unto thee.
  6. Thou shalt not kill thy Wench's siblings.
  7. Thou shalt not commit adultery with/against thy Wench.
  8. Thou shalt not steal food from thy Wench.
  9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy Wench (only for thy Wench).
  10. Thou shalt not covet any male's wench-house, thou shalt not covet any male's wench, nor his wench-food, nor his wench-candy, nor his wench-pictures, nor his wench**, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's and wench-related."

And the male saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the Wench, and the Wench smoking: and when the male saw it, he removed, and stood afar off. And he said unto the Wench's friend, Speak thou with me, and I will hear: but let not the Wench speak with me, lest I die. And her friend said unto the male, Fear not: for the Wench is come to prove you, and that her fear may be before your face, that ye sin not.
- Wenchedus 20:1-20

*This word intentionally left ambiguous
**Repeated for emphasis

Posted by Moore at 04:26 PM

Rest is upon me

Here I sit, relaxing in the library. The week has been good, the weekend, though IMPACTED, should be good as well. And I have dreams.... dreams of food.

But enough of that, I have more than a dream, indeed, more than any mortal tale. I bring a Word of Wisdom from our Brother Wheeler. He spoke, it is true, in a moment of weakness. But his words resound nonetheless. Here they are.
"I could do it like that one guy in that one fantasy I read."
I do not know what he intended. The context of these words is also lost. But one thing remains, the words themselves. Perhaps their publishment will bring joy to some poor, blind Guatemalan.

Posted by Moore at 03:19 PM

March 22, 2004

Hello Spammers

Here are some spam-tastic IP's of note.

Posted by Moore at 02:43 PM

March 12, 2004


1:47 am - I have finished my last BibLit journal, and sit back to survey my work. I have written something I want to believe. Maybe its the late hour, but I'd like to believe I can think like this throughout the whole day.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Three well known men who stood up to the king. They refused to bow down or worship the image he had set up. They did not fear the king's decree, and they visible defied his orders. And even if God had not saved them from the fiery furnace, they would have been every bit of what they were, true believers.
Idealism is often frowned upon in modern culture. Yes, it's good to have dreams. Sure, you ought to think outside the box. But to believe something that defies logic, to live for something that cannot be proven, that is just stupid. If the three Hebrew friends were alive today they would doubtless be laughed at. Dieing because they couldn't let an old man have his eccentricities? It's ridiculous. Yet, it is just their missing idealism that today's Christians so desperately need. In an age when all must be proven or perish, we must stand as they did: not on what we see with our eyes, but on what we see with our hearts. Idealism and faith go hand in hand. Is it so hard to believe that the path to the infinite God would lie outside of our understanding? If we truly seek a meaning beyond our physical universe, we must live as if there is something beyond our physical universe. We must live as Idealists, faithful to that which cannot be seen.

Posted by Moore at 02:51 AM

March 05, 2004

An Interview

The Blog: Hello Moore.
Self: Hello Blog.
The Blog: I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been? Do you still love me?
Self: Of course I love you, I've just been busy.
The Blog: To busy to spend time with me? Aren't I important to you?
Self: Of course you're important to me. Why else would I have spent hours on you over the past year? It silly to think I don't love you.
The Blog: I'm not silly, I'm important. Besides, if you really thought I was silly you wouldn't pay attention to me.
Self: What? I do pay attention to you, it's just that I've had a lot to do. I've had tests, papers, and general Mayhem regarding the Mexico trip.
The Blog: Is the trip more important then I am? Don't I try hard to entertain you? Am I not good enough?
Self: That has nothing to do with this. You are important, and you're a very good blog. I just don't always have the time to do what I want to do.
The Blog: Then you don't love me. You have more important things.
Self: I give up. You don't make any sense.

Posted by Moore at 06:52 PM