October 21, 2004

LK2K and Moore

Inspired by Martinez and the Late Hour, I reached this obvious conclusion for the disturbing appearance of undone homework every morning.

The homework leprechauns are working overtime to bring me homework goodness. While I sleep, they sneak under my door and pile paper on my desk. When I awake in the morning I find oodles of homework, and in that early morning fog I assume it's stuff I forgot to do the night before. They're terribly clever and dreadfully evil.

I've considered sending them North to get some peace around here. Unfortunately, they don't like the northern climes. Too extreme for the tender dispositions. My next thought was to send them to Mexico, but they don't speak any Spanish. Right now I'm contemplating a swap for some Irish garden gnomes. I may have to de-gnome the lawn every month, but anything is better than these endless piles of poorly written homework I find every morning. The real problem is the transportation. Standard shipping just won't do, the leprechauns don't care for boxes, and those troublesome gnomes would beat their way out with their little picks and shovels. I was going to use my frequent flyer miles and send them coach class, but once again I had a run-in with airport security. Apparently there's a lower height limit... Next on my list of possibilities was a Arctic Trek. I had already bought my mittens when I discovered my little leprechauns were terrified at the very prospect of crossing the English Channel. When pressed for details, little Lucky only shrieks "I had a bad experience!" His little voice is so adorable.

Right now I'm contemplating a four-dimensional phase shift. If only I can trick those little rascals into putting their hats on inside out and upside down simultaneously, I'll only need to switch their shoes to send them four-dimensional. The major problem right now: my little green friends have assumed my antics are the effect of too little homework on my part. Thus I suddenly found myself enrolled in Numerical Analysis and Electronic Circuits I. (The packing tube experiments had nothing to do with it, I assure you.)

I'm heading to bed soon, as soon as I hook up this little desktop Leprechaun Killer 2000. It looks like a harmless snack until they touch it... Bother, I can't seem to find the LK2K. Oh! I didn't know I had a bag of peanut M&M's!

*falls to the floor*

Posted by Moore at October 21, 2004 11:53 PM