October 07, 2004

Hello? IT?

The First Exchange:
Your network port has been deactivated due to unauthorized access to Faculty/Staff computers.

Our Hero responds valiantly:
Our firm yet chivalrous Hero: Hello IT. I need my 'net back. Please....
IT: You must... speak with the Ethan... Torgo watches over things while the Ethan is away.
Our lionhearted and indomitable Hero: Have no fear! I shall confront your leader!
IT: Click.

The Dark Voice Replies:
Our audacious yet benevolent Hero: I summon you, Ethan of the IT!
IT: It is not the Ethan's job to plug or unplug. We only does as we is told.
Our just yet gracious Hero: Then I shall not destroy you... this time! Tell me, who is your true master?
IT: We cannot speak the name of him-we-do-not-name...
Our refractory yet tenacious Hero: You are the servant of the Bowser? I shall challenge him in single combat!
IT: Click.

Our idealistic yet practical Hero Pursues Destiny:
OoSA: Who dares to call upon the Dark One?
Our bold yet merciful Hero: It is I, our defiant and noble Hero!
OoSA: You'll have to make an appointment. Unfortunately I've got a wedding to plan, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.
Our daring yet dawdling Hero: Then I shall appear tomorrow, at 3:30, and demand an audience! Think not that you shall escape my Wrath!

And so our gallant hero seeks to restore to himself his rightful bandwidth. Will he survive his journey to the palace of the Dark One? Will he do battle with the dreaded half-cactus desk chair? Will he wrest his access from that Dark Hand? Will the kilobytes flow like water again?

Posted by Moore at October 7, 2004 07:56 PM