I'm always amused when I get the chance to go to a new church and muse upon the differences between their way of doing things and the way that I'm used to (along with all of the different ways that I've already run into.) This week, we had the joy of going to Pine Crest Bible Church and boy was it a fun time...
We rolled in a couple of minutes after the service had actually started and thus missed introduction. After what came later, I'm fairly grateful for that stroke of fortune. The singing selection was interesting and conservative (read: hymns), but hey, to each his own. After this, the real fun began as the pastor proceeded to preach from Revelation 18. For the first 20 minutes, I was exposed to this message: "Babylon is materialistic and materialism is bad... materialism is bad... materialism is bad... Babylon is materialistic... materialists will mourn Babylon... materialism is bad."
A fairly sound message, not very well preached and certainly not very deep, but fairly sound nonetheless. Then things got interesting as he proceeded to tell us about the evil demons and evil demonic birds that infested Babylon and went to this passage:
He presented another parable to them, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field; and this is smaller than all {other} seeds, but when it is full grown, it is larger than the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches."
Mat 13:31-32 (NASB)
He then asserted that this passage was referring to the "Mystery Kingdom" which exists between Christ's first and second coming. Ever heard of the Mystery Kindgom? If so, enlighten me, because this was a new and special reference. He then further asserted that the birds were clearly demons living in the time of the Mystery Kindgom. Anybody out there willing to take a hack at this?
While this was easily the most aggregious of the bad exegetics on display today, there were other interesting observations from the sermon, such as "modern pop cultural music" being evil and some more yammering about the demonic birds. I will leave others to review other aspects, but will close in saying that the constant advertising for the evening service on giving was a bit unsettling, especially in the face of this sermon on materialism. That pretty much breaks my cardinal rule on discussing titheing in sermons and the whole guilt-tripping bit and even moreso with the heavy lines about materialism... and encourages me to take myself to a pew elsewhere as if everything else hadn't.
I guess I should have refrained from using the name of the church... but then again, I want you to be warned if you decide that you should go yourself. For a different perspective, Wilson already has a review and I'm suspecting that some of the others with whom I went will as well... sooner or later.
Incidentally, here's the church doctrinal statement (I dug it out of the webpage, the actual provided link is broken.) Would you expect such a train wreck from such an innocent statement?
As soon as I have spare money to throw at something, I'm buying this t-shirt.
Another odd link of the day, especially amusing to one Gecko. Thanks Shem.
You know, I hate math homework... especially when it's disguised as CS homework.
Interesting day thus far. Word of advice: Bud chapels may be boring, but they also contain things to mock him for, without fail. Today was no different as we were exhorted to use integrity in our use of library materials and were likened to lemons with which the University was in the business of making lemonade. Ah yes, and Dr. Carl was positively frightening in his jazz rendition of Amazing Grace.
Analysis of Algorithms with Dr. Baas should be interesting, contrasted sharply by Digital with Dr. Leiffer, which promises to be boring and to start out with a waste of my time and a lot of work. Today I spent 30 minutes being instructed in basic binary. Ardith, Zippy and I came up with things that we'd rather be doing. Sadly, I have no webspace to post the illustrations to, but the list included:
stabbing myself in the eye with a stick
baking
cookies
sleeping
being run over by an old lady
installing windows 98 on a 486
Well, now it's time to go buy some books before the much-accursed bookstore closes so that I might be able to do my homework for the vast array of classes which I am in. Fortunately, I only need the Numerical Analysis book right now... which means I won't be going broke as quickly.
Well, I've been hit or miss on the disturbed links of the day of late, but I think this one takes the cake. Sadly, I have confirmed the truth of this report, as the book can be found here.
Well... the Council is back on campus and life is going fairly good. My meetings went well and it is safe to say that we are back in the business of doing business again. I got to go spend an evening with a bunch of friends and some new Honors people and just generally got to see lots of people whom I haven't seen in a while. And then I returned to my room...
Apparently some of the juvenile idiots on the floor didn't take too kindly to my spending time elsewhere and felt it necessary to show their displeasure in the form of a prank. That's fine, I like pranks... within reason. What I fail to understand is how taking everything imaginable, including clutter and random boxes and papers, and stacking it in my room such that it will take me hours to remove it is even remotely funny. Maybe I just lack the proper perspective... but somehow I doubt it. I am incredibly grateful that my RA and roommate, the man known as Toad, found this as unamusing as I and threatened to fine the hell out of all of the perpetrators if things weren't rectified. Thus, while there is still trash in my room, I am assured that it isn't nearly as bad as it was and I'm sure that the beatings will continue until the crap is gone.
The million dollar question is my response. I mean, I love a good prank as much as the next guy. But I'm also fairly sure that a couple of idiots managed to drag most of the freshmen into this and thus, there really isn't any good response. All I know is that anybody who thought this would make me more likely to stick around the floor at all during the next weeks must be incredibly stupid. If it weren't for my RA and two or three other good guys, this puerile bullshit would be almost enough to convince me to move elsewhere.
After sitting through the hell that is registration, it felt good to go harass some professors. It was just about right to be sitting in Dr. Johnson's office with Wilson again. Granted, the office has relocated, but it was still very refreshing. Incidentally, the fate of the universe is going to be resting in the hands of the chosen few once more. It is good to be going back into the school-year.
Well... most of the crew is back and the rest returns tomorrow. All in all it's been a good day, especially the whole sleeping in part and spending the day bumming around with Ardith, Moore, and Anna. It will be good to have most of the people who belong here back. Sadly, a few can't return... as is always the case. They will be missed.
Oddly, it would appear that my philosophy on life is changing at least a bit. I am still cynical of humanity, but cannot help but feel that there is something biblically unsound with being cynical of fellow Christians and I know that there is something wrong with being cynical of God. Thus, I am at an impasse with my philosophy. Do I come up with a new name for it, or do I just come up with a modified version and claim to be a sect of mainstream cynicism?
It's jackasses like this who make me want to go start a giant forest fire somewhere. I mean, I'm all about the earth staying all nice and pretty and stuff, but this is ridiculous.
Check these guys out. That's one ballsy press release to be sure, regardless of the truth to the hype that they're generating.
While I'm at it, I figure I might as well give a general update. The frosh are here, I am tormenting them and there are numerous leads on unwanted souls which I am diligently following up on. Orientation moves along and I warp some and try to talk others out of going, and all in all I am feeling back in my element.
If there are freshmen willing to sell souls, vendors in the market to buy or people interested in getting in a league with the Cynic, get ahold of me. If you don't know where I live, ask for the guy in the cloak. I'm sure someone will be able to give you directions... for a price.
Wise words from Ethan for today:
"To be on a network, use a phone cord you must not."
Are you naturally a critic or proponent? Do you tend towards this position with a deal of care and consideration, or is it just something that you'll do blindly?
Myself, I tend towards criticism. I would like to think that it's not a blind criticism, but from my angle it's really hard to say. Then again, I think it's a good deal easier to be intellectually honest and still blindly critical of things. After all, you may fail to see the big picture, but you'll always be able to spot the errors, insignificant or overwhelming. On the other hand, if you're a perpetual proponent, you'll be backing the Titanic as it sinks into the water and praising its great design and wonderful craftsmanship. You'll be right, but you'll tend to be guilty of ignoring the faults in order to see the bright side of life. The reverse is also true I suppose, but I guess I tend to be like my father in assuming that there will always be someone to see the bright side of most things. On the other hand, while there is rarely a dearth of people looking for problems, there will always be that fundamental design flaw that it takes the 300th observer to miss.
I guess what I'm saying in the end is that you really shouldn't be blindly critical or blindly supportive, but it really does help if you keep an eye open for problems. After all, the upside will usually be obvious enough that it'll knock you on your ass and it'll be the problems that are a bit more subtle. Unless it's a failed endeavor, at which point there's not much point looking at the bright side now is there?
Quote of the Day: "Look! My pants just vanished! They were just there and now they're gone. I guess my pants just like to disappear. You saw me put them on, right?" - Toad
Disturbed Link of the Day: Crazy Animal Cracker on Ebay
I am thinking that while I still have the edge left in me, I might want to say something with regards the IMPACT system and whatnot: generally reviewing it and seeing what makes it as defunct as it seems to be. If you have an opinion, feel free to email me or (preferably) leave a comment.
And I'm also working on the list of "101 Questions/Actions to piss off an IMPACT Leader"
1) Aren't you Peer Advisors payed over $1000 a year to be our friends?
2) Don't you have something better to do than try to be my mother?
3) So is it that Chaplains and Themelios don't matter that they don't get payed?
4) Why is Senate IMPACT at all?
5) Why are Themelios second-rate PA's?
6) Why are Senators forced to be second-rate Themelios during orientation?
Usually someone sends me a disturbed link or points me to something and says "this is disturbed." But in this case, Daniel Dickerson told me, "Hey, check this out... they're holding a conference and I want to go to it."
So behold and be very afraid... and if you're interested, I will get you in contact with Daniel. I'm sure he'd like to go to this event with someone.
As a general note of random curiousity... it would appear that Suzie is in charge of SWARM. [sarcasm]There's a real shock...[/sarcasm]
In other news, it would appear that the lemmings are upset about PCs making inroads in the schools and edging out those pesky Macs. I would like to point out to all of my Mac enthusiasts that while a Mac may be a superior machine for ease-of-use, it is also more expensive and in posession of a virtually nonexistant market share which is fading fast. If I'm going to use a PC at home and a PC at work, why do I want to use a Mac in high school? That would be retarded.
Well.... I'm sitting here looking around at a much-cleaned but still very cluttered room and wondering how to deal with it. I'm sure the ideal solution is to open up the 4 or 5 boxes with all of the "assorted paper" in them and discard the unnecessary variety of said paper and merely retain the essential. Then I could go through all of my "assorted crap" and figure out what is needed and what I'll never use and by means of that (along with giving away all of this food that I'll never cook or eat) get down to a smaller quantity of stuff. It's as my parents say, "you get stuff to fill the space you've got."
It's true; after a year in a room by myself I can verify that I've got nearly enough "stuff" (not all of it even really worth keeping) to fill a room. It's going to take some getting used to... this having a roommate and all. But it will be a welcome change. Now off to more cleaning until Toad gets in...
Oh, and here's a link for those who have been missing them: Cat Translator
I think I might be finally coming to understand the creative drought I experienced over the summer. It may just be that I'm so used to having all of these great minds to bounce ideas off of. I just might be even more of an extrovert than I think and really need the outside influence to feed off of. I mean, I'm a decent guy for coming up with things on my own, but I just feed off of outside influence. I go from mediocre to just insane with one person to talk to... let alone if you give me a small army. Yes, the Shadow Council is returning to the land of pulpy little minds waiting to be influenced. It gives me goose-bumps just thinking that the army of subversives is going to be back together in just over a week.
Yes, that is a nasty little grin you see spreading across my face...
Maybe we can even do odd stuff like this at LU. On the other hand, there really aren't enough students, and if we started mobbing, the neighbors might decide that it's time to go LA Riot on LU. On second thought... I pass.
My motto for the day is: "Refuse to be manipulated." My buddy Stu is the current reigning king in that department. Right now I wish I was as cool as he is. The saddest part of all of this is that the person who would robably be proudest of him won't even be here next week to hear the wonderful story and pat Stu on the back. Wow, that's depressing.
Anyways, here's a song in honor of Stu... (Eagles - Witchy Woman)
Witchy Woman
Raven hair and ruby lips
sparks fly from her finger tips
Echoed voices in the night
she's a restless spirit on an endless flight
wooo hooo witchy woman, see
how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman she got
the moon in her eye
She held me spellbound in the night
dancing shadows and firelight
crazy laughter in another
room and she drove herself to madness
with a silver spoon
woo hoo witchy woman see how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman she got the moon in her eye
Well I know you want a lover,
let me tell your brother, she's been sleeping
in the Devil's bed.
And there's some rumors going round
someone's underground
she can rock you in the nighttime
'til your skin turns red
woo hoo witchy woman
see how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman
she got the moon in her
eye
(lyrics courtesy of Lyrics.com)
Still back, tired as ever. Oh yeah, here's a copy of the email I sent to my parents... kind of explains the interaction I have with them as well as the life I lead here. To be fair, I was a bit less than informative as to my travels whilst I was away with the Wench.
It is late, I am tired… so I will be brief. I ended up working from 8 AM this morning to 9 PM this evening with an hour for lunch and an hour for dinner. I ended up working a lab shift among many other things. Thusly, I failed to call this evening. I’m sorry, I’ll try again tomorrow… at least then I get off at 5 and will have time to do that. Calling Gecko and bugging him doesn’t do anything, please leave the poor boy alone.
Take care,
-Cynic
Check this article on Wired out... pretty interesting write-up on the possibility of quality man-made gems on the market at prices greatly reduced from that of those from the DeBeers monopoly.... not to mention the possibility of diamond electronics. And no, this isn't any sort of hint or announcement... just my nerdiness and the excitement I get at new electronics coming out again.
I am back in Longview. The Panhandle is an ugly place to visit... I don't recommend it unless you have friends to go see or are really intent on going to see Palo Duro Canyon. I went and saw a wonderful play there called "Texas Legacies" which gave me a whole new insight into the screwed-up nature of Texans. I will be reviewing it later this evening.
As far as my "letting" the wench shoot, I really didn't have a choice in the matter, short of physically taking the gun from her... which probably would have gotten me shot or worse. Context: we were staying with Anna's Uncle and Aunt who own a small armory of handguns and offered to let both of us shoot. I really don't think preaching my doctrine of unarmed wenches would have gone too well considering that Anna's Aunt and cousin were both examples of armed wenches. All I can say is that I escaped with my life and without any bullet-holes and plan on living on to do better in the future. You may all rest assured that I will try my best to keep handguns away from the wench to the best of my abilities...
As far as the countdown, I forget what it's counting down to and whatnot. I'll play with it later this evening and do some polishing up and whatnot. Not sure where the plans take me from here, but we'll see...
As to a good beating, bring it. And as to my losing my ability to ridicule wenches... Sez who? Further, where is the basis for my being removed from my divinely-appointed duty?
Disturbed Link of the Day: Cheesesteak Politics?
Done With Vacation :(
Days Until Summer is Over: 4
Glorious Days of Living on 1B this Year : 1 (and holding, pending my return)
I am no longer in Colorado... I am in Amarillo, Texas. I'm not sure which is worse.... but both are superior to Longview. I'm so glad that I don't have to fess up to having been born in that wonderful place. It's bad enough that I have to come to terms with myself over just spending four years there at college.
Yes, Anna and I are dating. If you hadn't figured that out by now, I'm sorry. More straightforward information and some sort of a formal post will be forthcoming upon my return. And if any of you start commenting, you know the drill. And in case you hadn't read, she took up shooting a handgun tonight and enjoyed it. I'm scared and I'm her boyfriend, imagine how you'll feel if you start making smart remarks. Not to mention that if she doesn't finish you off, I actually have aim.
I really don't have much more to say other than if you get the chance to drive through Colorado, do it. And if you have the chance to drive around West Texas, don't. Oh yeah... dial-up still sucks in Texas as much as it did in Colorado. As crackhead would say...
-Cynic Out
Yes... I am still alive. I am still in Colorado and I leave tomorrow. Sooner or later (Wednesday) I plan to return to Longview. Until such time, I leave you to your own devices and to the knowledge that I have some really vicious disturbed links to put up upon my return.
Oh yeah, and the sadist in me keeps giggling at the thought that there is going to be a record influx of freshmen and I get to try and corrupt them all. Do you really want to see the Cynic become a work-aholic? Because it's about to happen... after all, spreading corruption and the seeds of discord is a full-time job.
*cackles maniacally*
The Cynic Will Exact Vengeance Upon: Dial-Up Internet
Well, here I am safe and sound in the wonderful state of Colorado. Anna's family lives in this wonderful town called "Lake City" which should be renamed to the "Remotest Outpost of Nowhere in Colorado". It's a beautiful area and very amusing and quaint, but the fact that dial-up is required because high-speed fiber into town has been resisted by the denizens of said town should tell you something. Their further insistance that the last thing they want their town to be is like Teluride should pretty much tell you all of the mindset that you need to know: archaic, quaint and determined to stay that way.
Incidentally, the area up here is very beautiful. If it weren't for this primitive tourist trap of a town and its related astronomical prices, I would really find nothing wrong with it. Granted, it's 2 hours from anything that could be remotely referred to as "civilization" and 5 hours from a major city, but it is really a nice place. This is the kind of place you could have a summer vacation house if the people weren't so militantly backwards.
Due to the increasing frustrations of trying to do anything in the neighborhood of good posting on this computer and a lack of access to my normal faire of disturbed linkage, I anticipate that I will be hit or miss on disturbed links until I get back to 1B.
Disturbed Link of the Day: What Women Really Want (warning, 1.7 Mb file)
Days Of Vacation Left: 5
Days Until Summer is Over: 15
Glorious Days of Living on 1B this Year : 1 (and holding, pending my return)
I just ran by Randy's blog and from there was directed to Fred Reed's Fred on Everything. Fred is my new hero. He is my long-lost GodFather or something like that. I'm going back to read through all of the archives now. For those of you who were hoping that I wouldn't find anyone to feed my angst, cynicism and chauvinism, you just lost. Fred is also incredibly politically incorrect and quite amusing. Go read some of his columns... NOW!
Here's the deal. I'm packing up and should have already probably left. So here's the stats and some links or something and then I'll talk when I have time to and stuff. And I'm going to count days lived on 1B as how many nights I have spent in that bad up there over my head (it's a system for counting, inaccurate but it'll do.)
Disturbed Link of the Day: Inkblot Passwords?
I'm Gone Again!
Days Until Summer is Over: 17
Glorious Days of Living on 1B this Year : 1
I've been cranking away all morning at moving things up to home. Now all I really need to do is move the computer, some odds and ends and some clothes and then I'll be all moved in. Funny how it's so much easier and more enjoyable to move in then move out. Maybe it's because I'm moving back to where I've really wanted to be for the past 3 months.
On a varied note, I'm kind of working on a disclaimer and this is what I've cooked up thus far:
"Warning! As you should have noted by the name of the blogger, this page purports, nay preaches the tenets and virtues of cynicism. Ignorance and idiocy are decried at every corner and if you are foolish enough to respond with your fallacious ass-babble, you might be flayed for all to see.
Oh yes, and I am prone to using "strong language" (terminology courtesy of Shem) and offending everyone whom I can get my hands on. This especially includes liberals, feminazis, queers, foreigners and pacifists althought that list is nowhere near all-inclusive. If you feel I've been neglecting your particular sect, let me know and I'll see if
I can work you into the rotation.
And if you happen to be a member of some governmental agency or an administrator at a University which I hold near and dear to my heart, I would like to state for the record that anything posted here which might indicate some conflict between myself and a statute and guideline which I am required to uphold is either a misinterpretation, an error or a result of fictional prose on my part. I would never disobey the law... ever."
Well... more stuff is moved up to 1B and it should be ready for occupancy as of tomorrow. I could actually move my computer up there and live there now, but I'm going to abide by the school rules and whatnot and just move everything up there and wait to actually live up there until after this next weekend.
I'm pondering the fairly good odds that I won't be able to update to my blog daily whilst I am out of town in Colorado... and I guess I'm ok with that, as much as I'd really rather have my updates going up daily. After all, wouldn't it be better to take that time off and enjoy a good vacation? With luck, I might even keep good records and post them after the fact...
Well, it's time for sleep so that I will be able to do my moving tomorrow. I'll talk at you all soon.
This news just goes to show how far much of the modern Church has come from Christ. For a denomination to be willing to admit a openly gay minister as a bishop is to indicate that they have fallen away from the Gospel of Christ and are merely going through the motions. Sadly, they still refer to themselves as Christians while they slander His name with their moral filth and a refusal to reconcile their religion with the teachings of Him whom they claim to follow.
I think our Episcopalian brothers are in need of much prayer right now. Only God can make this one right...
I'm up here and I've more or less moved in. I now claim the title as the first Bandit back to 1B for this year and demand obeissance for my accomplishment. Yeah... and I'm pretty sure I'm the first one back in Tyler period.
RAH!
Incidentally, as the countdowns go, I leave tomorrow to stay in Fort Worth with Caleb and then depart for Colorado the following morning and due to the fact that I'm back on 1B, I'm not on the count for Apartment.
36 Days Lived in a Shitty Apartment!
Disturbed Link of the Day: Stupid Person's Guide to Life (thanks Gecko)
I'm Gone Again as of Tomorrow!
Days Until Summer is Over: 18
Glorious Days of Living on 1B this Year : 0
Reading Jonathan's and David's blogs of late has inspired me to do the whole "take on my own friendships/relationships" bit. Here's the thing: I may appear extroverted and easy to get to know, but really I'm not. Oh sure, I love being around people and am very outgoing, but when it gets right down to it, the observant few start to notice that you may hang around me for months and hardly know me at all beyond what I let people know of me.
I often proudly display my philosophy of cynicism to the world around me. I preach it and attempt to proselytize others with fervant lectures on the evils of humanity and the supreme depravity of the people one knows. After all, how can you trust anyone else when you know that you can't be trusted yourself? And thus, my relationships progress. Sure, I have a lot of people who I know and even know a fair bit about... but few know me as anything other than that funny cloaked who hates happy people.
When it gets right down to it... it might be because I don't trust people... and then there's the part that I might not wnat people to trust me. Think about it, in an honest friendship with someone, when they trust you, you become responsible to uphold that trust. Now granted, this is nearly always a reciprocated thing... but upholding a trust is a fairly serious thing. And guaranteed, sooner or later you will break that trust. You are a sinful, flawed, depraved human and you will let friends down and they will let you down.
Can you deal with this? I don't know if I can or not some days.
Here's a passage on trust that I thought might be pertinent...
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."
Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him." Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us."
Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been
among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. John 14:1-14 (NIV)
Disturbed Link of the Day: Twisted Poetry (thank Moore for this... not me)
Days Until I'm Gone Again: 2
Days of Living in a Shitty Apartment: 36
Days Until Summer is Over: 19
Days Since it Last Rained : ??
Tired now... must sleep. Got loft put up in my room in Tyler and will finish shoring it up tomorrow. I'm very much looking forward to moving back in...
Will post more details tomorrow...
The Cynic Will Exact Vengeance Upon: O'hare International Airport
Well.... I'm back. I got in yesterday more or less on time, no thanks to American. My flight from Dayton left late enough that they bumped me off of the connecting flight from O'hare to Dallas, even though I made it to the gate with a minute or two left to spare. Bastards... leaving me in freaking O'hare like that. The worst part was that the delay was due to a new traffic regulation system that they have for flying into O'hare so that they won't have congestion. We sat for 20 minutes on the ground after a 10-minute delay, waiting for the air traffic control clowns to clear us.
This would be twice now that I have had problems flying through O'hare, although as my single-serving friend on the flight from O'hare to Dallas pointed out, any problem that merely results in a delayed arrival in the same day is just a minor problem. Any problem that just results in inconvenience of having to hurry though airports (which is what happened to me) is merely that, an inconvenience. The fun stuff is when you get delayed overnight or they lose your luggage or temporarily misplace it for a week or two.
Anyways, all that said, it is much better to be in Longview and not flying around the entire country. Although, I'm doing more of that flying around stuff later this week... but I really don't think it'll be so bad seeing as that I won't be going through O'hare.
Disturbed Link of the Day: Get Paid to use Bad Software
Days Until I'm Gone Again: 3
Days of Living in a Shitty Apartment: 35 (and sadly, counting again)
Days Until Summer is Over: 20
Days Since it Last Rained : ??
Hmmm.... I'm getting new responses every now and again from people whom I don't know or whom I have seen commenting elsewhere on Jonathan's blog or something. Granted, I love that people are reading my blog and I haven't been dragged out and flamed (yet) but I am also insatiably curious. If you are reading this and you aren't an LUser, be a good little lad or lass and leave a comment on who you are and how you found my blog. For instance, I am a college student at LU and I found this blog by being the author. I also linked through Shem who is a friend of mine from school.
Obviously, LU admin isn't going to fess up to actually reading a blog... that would be all kinds of balls and stuff and coming out from behind the smoke and mirrors. But for the rest of you, I'd love to hear how you are getting to me.
Alright, I'm flying out this morning to go back to school... home if you will. Stark contrast from two weeks ago where I wanted nothing less than to be on the end of the flight and I wanted the flying to drag on forever. This time, I'm ready to be done already. I'm going to try and sleep all the way home. Mmm... it's odd to call Longview home.
And here's an odd quote from my friend Tim about a girl named Julia... "She's short... I could hit her with things, like cereal"
Disturbed Link of the Day: "Armed" Robbery?
I'm Flying Home Today!
Days of Living in a Shitty Apartment: 34 and holding
Days Until Summer is Over: 21
Days Since it Last Rained : who cares?
Went out to dinner with the crew tonight.... at Perkins. Sadly the service was much better than last time, as I would have greatly enjoyed setting the crew to work subversively. As it was, the crew did some overt damage and nearly got us kicked out by exploding a half-and-half container everywhere. Note to self: bring a more tightly-controlled crew to cause mayhem.
Outside of that, we hit bowling earlier on in the evening and I proved that I suck 90% of the time at it. I didn't even break 100... it was bad. Before that I had dinner with the good friends of the family and bummed around. It was a very good end to a very restful vacation. Now I'm just ready for it to be over with...
Disturbed Link of the Day: Optical Illusion (thanks to my little brother Jonny... best known to all of you as the source of the gargling sand joke)
I'm Back at School Tomorrow!
Days of Living in a Shitty Apartment: 34 and holding
Days Until Summer is Over: 22
Days Since it Last Rained : who cares?
On analyzing the long string of bad waiter/waitress performances that I've been the unhappy victim of during the past two weeks, I have these thoughts about being involved in the personalized customer service end of food services (otherwise known as being a waiter.)
1) Be good at details. Memorize details in your head, take notes, do whatever the hell you have to... but I am not impressed when I order a mountain dew and get a water. I am notably less impressed when I order a steak and get a burger.
2) Be there. If I am out of a drink, you're already not doing your job. Now granted, I'm an oddball and anyone who's ever gone out to eat with me will note that if I'm thirsty, it's not uncommon for me to knock out the first 3 or 4 drinks within the first 30 seconds I have them. I'm willing to cut slack on this sort of thing, but if I've got less than a half a glass after leaving this kind of
carnage behind me, someone should have the sense to get me another. I'm thirsty and I'm paying $2 for something that's costing the restaurant maybe $.10 ... get the hell on the ball, Junior.
3) Be happy. I know, I know, I'm the first person in the world to tell you that being happy all the time gnaws at me. But I'm depressive and pissed off enough for the entire world, I don't need the person who's supposed to be getting my food to help feed that. Plus, I (like most other people) tip better when they're happy... not when they're feeding off of your lack of happiness and enthusiasm.
4) Tell us what the hell is going on. If you don't have our food because that cook in the back is a jackass, we'll roll with that. Hell, we'll probably even forgive the offense and tip you better because you were straight with us and took the time to come by and mention what was up. Communication is a good thing.
5) Fast is good. The more of it you have, the happier we will be. If I order a drink and it's there before I can blink, we will be amazed and you will get a pat on the back. The reverse is also true though... if it takes you 30 minutes to get anything done, you will be hated.
The above are essential. If you don't do these, you will get the shaft. I am usually a generous tipper when my server is decent... 20% for even mediocre service. But when you start ignoring us and refill my drink 2 or 3 times in the hour that I'm there, or you drag things out to 2 hours due to slow service and ineptitude, I start getting vindictive. And when that happens, your tip starts to drop like a rock. I will leave a 25 cent tip to tell the waiter that, "No, I didn't forget your tip and yes I do tip, but you are such a worthless server that your service is worth about that much to me."
Now... advice for getting better tips.
6) Amuse me. If you have a sense of humor or have crazy talents, put them to play. I had a waitress once reduce our table to tears we were laughing so hard. She was there, she was on it, and she was hillarious. She got an absurd tip as I recall... something like $5 on a $10 tab. Look, we know you're whoring out for money... and we appreciate it.
7) Be on top of things. If we have some guy who keeps downing drinks, bring out 2 drinks for him and tell him that you're moving the tap to the table or something. Again, impress us that you know what's going on and you're looking out for us.
8) Give us stuff for free. I know some places you need to be around for a while or be in good to do this, but I guarantee you that if you don't charge us for the sodas, your tip will go up that much more... even if your service completely sucks.
Anyways, those are my pointers. Feel free to comment in your own.