March 07, 2006


*Cynic picks up the phone and inhales to start speaking*

Customer: I'm having a problem with my computer's sound system.

Cynic: Alright, sir.

Customer: It's making a funny squealing noise and I can't hear anything.... let me show you.

Cynic: No, sir that's.... *interrupted by loud blast of shrill feedback*

Customer: What do you think I should do about that?

Cynic: Well sir, I can't really diagnose it over the phone, but I would be happy to help you if you could bring your computer system in.

Customer: That costs money, don't it?

Cynic: Yes sir.

Customer: You won't do it over the phone for free?

Cynic: Well sir, as I just told you, I can't do it over the phone, for free or otherwise.

Customer: Well... ok, where y'all located?

*Cynic gives standard directions* On the loop, across the street from Johnny Carino's and Home Depot, next to Jack's Natural Foods.

Customer: Ummm.... I'm new to town, where's the loop at?!

Sidebar: "The Loop" surrounds just about all of Longview and is the main thoroughfare on the North Side of town, accessing the mall, all main eateries, both Walmarts, etcetera...

Cynic: Alright sir... why don't you tell me where you're located.

Customer: Ummm.... I don't really know... does Gilmore road sound right to you?

Cynic: Right... ok, yeah *proceeds to give directions from Gilmer Road*

Customer: So yeah, can I call you if I get lost.

Cynic: Yes sir.

Customer: What's y'all's number?

Cynic: Sir... you just called me.

Customer: Oh... yeah. Thanks!

Cynic: Best of luck sir.

It should be noted that if he runs out of luck and never makes it here... well... you get the idea.

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at March 7, 2006 12:49 PM | TrackBack