Vengeful Cynic

I would have to say that traveling with young kids is no picnic.

Traveling with some older ones who can help amuse the younger ones is slightly better, but after a long day, most that age will just cry.

I find it very hard to imagine that Metallica would prevent headaches, but then, I am far too ancient to be objective in that area.

I am assuming there can be no correlation to her screaming, and her viewing your visage?

Lies. It is a commonly known fact that infant and toddler girls loathe men with beards. They probably also don't like particularly large men. Bearing these facts in mind, I'm sure that it is entirely Scholl's fault that she was screaming.

Lucky for him, however, she's a very reasonable little girl, unlike the one that harassed my dad for the first 4 years of her life. She disliked his beard, and would scream whenever she saw it, and just in case he tried to move out of sight, she would follow him, continue staring at his beard, and therefore screaming. It was sad.

Of course, there are lots of other sad things about this particular girl, but we're not getting into that. ;)

Now, I must say that while the beardliness has been known to unsettle a variety of small children, the fact remained that the spawn were in the middle seat and Anna and I were in the far back... hence, the only way the goat could have been bothering her would be if she all of a sudden (after several hours of driving) sensed its presence. No... shut up Toad, don't even bother coming up with a retarded explanation for that one.

Now Ma, as difficult as my appreciation for Metallica may be for one of our premiere Senior Citizens to understand, I think we can all agree that screaming (and I do mean screaming) babies in close proximity are bad for one's long-term mental health... especially as far as headaches are concerned. Now, I obviously like more modern music, but all you need to do is take something more... ancient that manages to have the fullness of sound required so that when you blare it in your headphones, it blocks out all other noise. If you can imagine (or experiment until you can find a similar solution) that, you will have a pretty good fix on what I was going for.

Now really, my explanation wasn't retarded, it was simply wrong, and the reasons you refute it are reasons I couldn't have known. Besides, she probably saw you get in the car, and was living in fear of your very presence: a status I am sure you would like to promote. Think about it: you're a tiny, 1 year-old girl, and a loudspoken bearded behemoth not only approaches you (stay away from the scary bad men girls!), but sits in your car, behind you, where you can't even keep an eye on him. Honestly, you can't completely discount the possibility of your presence having an effect on her, just as much as I can't prove that it did. :)

You dared call my mother a "premiere Senior Citizen"?

Don't worry Sharon, he does the same thing to mine... she just doesn't post here for you to see. ;)

Of course, I join him wholeheartedly in the teasing of my mother, so my perspective on the matter may be, shall we say, skewed.

I have no words of wisdom, I just laughed! Actually, equating the 'calming' affect of Metalica against the crying was a perfect mental picture. I laugh because I can feel your pain! There is a certain baby coo that goes to my heart and warms it, and there is the other piercing scream that makes me start looking for the duct tape. Evidently, you haven't heard the 'warming' type!

Sharon, would you prefer that your esteemed mother be referred to as a "lesser Senior Citizen" or would you prefer yet still more derogatory terms in reference to her advanced age such as "crusty Old Bag"? Personally, I felt that "premiere Senior Citizen" paid homage to her venerability while at the same time gently poking fun at her advanced years (she IS more than twice my age.)

Toad... didn't I tell you to shut up with your trying to explain the situation?

Julie, I'm afraid that my heart is 98% immune to warming effects. Sadly, my head is 100% vulnerable to the shrieking of babies. It's a sad, sad world.

Mr. Cynic, I would prefer that you don't refer to my mother as "old" at all. She isn't, you know. And you definitely didn't help your case by defining her age in terms of your own.

Well say now, I just caught up with these comments...

(you know how slow people get in old age)

Actually, I do not mind being referred to as a senior citizen. I relish the richness of my oldish years. Nay, I even embrace it.

Plus, you have that whole sympathy factor that one can capitalize upon. Really, it's very useful.

Besides, I look and get around quite well for a senior citizen. *blushes modestly*

And then, I know the Cynic just well enough to understand his harsh assessment of some peoples/age groups/etc. to merely be a manifestation of his softer side, 'cause....TMGSB.

(but for the record, I'm only 47 :-D )