Vengeful Cynic: Illegal Immigration

January 27, 2005

Illegal Immigration

This afternoon, I was reading this article about problems with the Social Security Administration not following up on evidence of identity theft on Social Security numbers and on potential illegal situations regarding the use of spurious numbers. As I was reading, this quote really, REALLY bothered me:

MSNBC.com research and government reports suggest hundreds of thousands of American citizens are in the same spot -- unknowingly lending their identity to illegal immigrants so they can work... It's a thorny problem that cuts to the heart of America's undocumented worker issue. Immigration opponents say it's another reason to shut the borders tight; immigrant rights groups point out that identity theft is an inevitable outcome of unfair labor laws that push foreign visitors deeper into the shadows. Either way, immigrant imposters with the least nefarious of intentions -- simply a desire to work -- often unknowingly victimize the rightful Social Security number holders.

Does this sound crazy to anyone else? Since when did illegal aliens become "foreign visitors" and victims of "unfair labor laws" who are "unknowingly victimizing" citizens by defrauding the government? And while we're at it, who gave illegal aliens rights to begin with?

All of this leads into the Cynic's plan to stop illegal immigration. First, let's define the problem: We have hundreds of thousands if not millions of illegal immigrants dwelling in the United States today, fleeing the poverty of Mexico to work in the U.S... illegally. The current penalty for crossing the border illegally is a one-night stay in a federal prison and deportation... or "go back and try again." Oh yeah, and attempting to help in an illegal immigration is a misdemeanor offense. This all amounts to an essentially unregulated, unprotected border with an unstable country known for its tendancy towards despotic anarchy. Can anyone say "national security issue?"

My solution is threefold:

Assistance in illegal immigration needs to be a felony, punishable by stiff fines and jail time. If you are here on some sort of legal naturalization program, this should be grounds to revoke your papers and send you packing to your country of origin.
Prison work programs, similar to those used for POW's and the like. The leaky border with Mexico is a national security problem, so those crossing the border are potential terrorists and must be contained. Thus, we get two years of work out of them and in exchange they get a bed and 3 square meals a day. At the end of two years, they are deported to Mexico after being carefully identified and entered into the computer system. Second offense is 5 years encarceration. Third offense is 20 years. After that, it's prison for life.
Every Mexican citizen caught attempting to illegally cross the border from Mexico into the U.S. represents a problem with Mexican border control as much as American border control. Thus, repeated failures of Mexican border control should result in some sort of repurcussions. Set a maximum number of failures per year, something like 5,000, and after that, Mexico loses $10,000US in foreign aid per verified illegal entry. This ought to give the Mexican government incentive to control the border. Oh, and give them a $100,000US incentive for every one under 5,000 they are, so that they can have more aid to improve their country and border guard.

I know it sounds uncaring and unsympathetic, but I really believe that if we are going to have laws about immigration, we need to stick to them. Illegal immigrants should be given 3-6 months warning to get out of the country when these laws take effect, and after that, it's open season on them. Heck, even offer a bounty for undocumented illegal foreign nationals.

With laws like these in place and a lid on illegal immigration, legal immigration can be boosted and deserving foreign nationals can get into the U.S. And then maybe we can fix our warped policy on Cuba.

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at January 27, 2005 10:40 PM | TrackBack

Comments

Very nice, Cynic. I approve of your proposals for fixing the problems, though calling illegal immigrants "potential terrorists," while technically correct, is far too loaded a term for the majority of these people. Regardless, I like the idea of putting them to work for a couple of years and then sending them back. I would, however, advocate an additional point ... make it easier for Mexicans to legally immigrate to this country. We are, after all, a nation of immigrants, and it should not be terribly difficult to move here legally.

Posted by: Daniel Leatherwood at January 28, 2005 12:33 AM

I am inclined to agree with your idea. I would also like to add the possibility of creating the Great Wall of the United States. This wall, expanding across the entire US/Mexico border, will also include a "no-mans" territory complete with a minefield, barbwire, and hidden motion-sensor machineguns. Perhaps the minefield will also extend into the new deepened Rio Grande River...this would allow for the use of underwater explosives. Also, deep steel-reinforced concrete slabs will be lowered until they hit the bedrock, for this would prevent tunneling...

Of course, most people would consider this the extreme method, so a simple wall would do as well, along with a military patrol on BOTH sides.

Posted by: Amminadab at January 28, 2005 01:16 AM

I like Cynic's idea about the federal aid, but I think that the one crossing the border should have a more taxing experience. Jail time is not a good choice because someone has to pay for it, and I don't want to. Bullets do wonders, but we don't have the money to supply the people to shoot the bullets. After going down there several times, sending jobs and industry will not work either. Any ideas?
note: comment has been cleansed of references to my name as well as edited for spelling>

Posted by: Mechcanoer at January 29, 2005 01:34 AM

I guess I need to be more specific as to what I mean by "labor camp" as it is obviously not getting through. I propose a system of skilled and semi-skilled labor tasks such that the labor camp will break even on the cost of housing the inmates, feeding them, and guarding them. For those who can do nothing but haul bricks and stack them, these will be the prison system's supply of "cheap construction labor."

Insofar as militarizing the southern border and especially considering the use of semi-lethal and lethal force, I am afraid that Mechcanoer is missing the subtle nuances of politics... namely that you can't shoot at helpless Mexicans without creating an uproar. That said, it should be noted that if no illegal aliens get into the country in a given year, my plan calls for a $5 billion US increase in financial aid to Mexico. Put bluntly, we won't have to militarize the border or get our hands bloody; the Mexican government will do it for us.

Posted by: Vengeful Cynic at January 29, 2005 11:40 AM