November 10, 2004

Judicial Reform

Stupid people should not be allowed to participate in the legal system... especially not in civil suits. It's because of people like this that the legal system is glutted with frivolous lawsuits and other nonsensical crap. Thusly, I propose a new facet to the American Judiciary, as originally advanced by my friend Mark: Discretionary Compensational Maiming.
In essence, Discretionary Compensational Maiming would allow the judge to decide that they lawsuit in question was too foolish to be allowed anywhere near a court. In addition to being thrown out, all involved plaintiffs (lawyers included) will be subjected to corporal punishment as directed by the bailiff. In short, if you sue McDonald's for making you fat, the bailiff gets to beat you down.
This applies to class-action lawsuits as well. If a bunch of environmental wackos (PETA) try to sue a fur coat manufacturer for violating the rights of the animals in question, PETA gets a bunch of broken arms... and while we're at it, why don't we make the punishment apply doubly for the lawyers?

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at November 10, 2004 07:55 PM | TrackBack