August 28, 2004

P FN without DEF, 0:1

"My ritual differs slightly. What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall. Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers. Then I hop right back into the stall because our dog, Earnest, who has been alone in the basement all night building up powerful dog emotions, has come bounding and quivering into the bathroom and wants to greet me with 60 or 70 thousand playful nips, any one of which -- bear in mind that I am naked and, without my contact lenses, essentially blind -- could result in the kind of injury where you have to learn a whole new part if you want to sing the "Messiah," if you get my drift. Then I hop right back out, because Robert, with that uncanny sixth sense some children have -- you cannot teach it; they either have it or they don't -- has chosen exactly that moment to flush one of the toilets. Perhaps several of them."
-- Dave Barry

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
-- Lord Thomas Rober Dewar

Serfs up!
-- Spartacus

Don't take life so serious, son, it ain't nohow permanent.
-- Walt Kelly

Mastery of UNIX, like mastery of language, offers real freedom. The price
of freedom is always dear, but there's no substitute. Personally, I'd
rather pay for my freedom than live in a bitmapped, pop-up-happy dungeon
like NT.
-- Thomas Scoville, Performance Computing

Billy: Mom, you know that vase you said was handed down from generation to generation?
Mom: Yes?
Billy: Well, this generation dropped it.

love, v.: I'll let you play with my life if you'll let me play with yours.

Why are programmers non-productive? Because their time is wasted in meetings.

Why are programmers rebellious?
Because the management interferes too much.

Why are the programmers resigning one by one?
Because they are burnt out.

Having worked for poor management, they no longer value their jobs.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"

deedle deedle dee, la dee da da, I'm a tea pot and you're not!
My BF says I have a lovely bunch of coconuts...
lol, sorry guys, my gf grabbed the keyboard while i went upstairs
uh huh
a likely story
does your gf know you have a bf?
because, you know, the rest of us seem to

I've known him as a man, as an adolescent and as a child -- sometimes on the same day.
-- Unknown

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had
a complete set.
-- Ring Lardner

Worst Month of 1981 for Downhill Skiing: August. The lift lines are the shortest, though.
-- Steve Rubenstein

Without a goal, a life is nothing. Sometimes the goal becomes a man's entire
life, an all-consuming passion. But once that goal is achieved, what then?
Oh, poor man, what then?
-- LADY HELENA ATREIDES, her personal journals

The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

Have you ever felt like a wounded cow
halfway between an oven and a pasture?
walking in a trance toward a pregnant
seventeen-year-old housewife's two-day-old cookbook?
-- Richard Brautigan

P FN without DEF, 0:1

You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on.
-- Hepler, Systems Design 182

Fry: Hey, I'm startin' to get the hang of this game. The blerns are loaded. The
count's three blerns and two anti-blerns, and the
infield blern rule is in effect. Right?
Leela: Other than the word blern, that was complete gibberish.

The garden is in mourning; The rain falls cool among the flowers. Summer shivers quietly On its way towards its end.

Golden leaf after leaf
Falls from the tall acacia.
Summer smiles, astonished, feeble,
In this dying dream of a garden.

For a long while, yet, in the roses,
She will linger on, yearning for peace,
And slowly
Close her weary eyes.
-- Hermann Hesse, "September"

FORTRAN rots the brain.
-- John McQuillin

If you want to see card tricks, you have to expect to take cards.
-- Harry Blackstone

A world is supported by four things: the teaming of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the righteous, and the valor of the brave.
But all of these are as nothing without a ruler who knows the art of ruling.
-- PRINCE RAPHAEL CORRINO, Discourses on Galactic Leadership

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.
It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish.
You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.
-- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a 4BSD?
My friends all got sources, so why can't I see?
Come all you moby hackers, come sing it out with me:
To hell with the lawyers from AT&T!

It is said that the Duke Leto blinded himself to the perils of Arrakis, that he
walked heedlessly into the pit. Would it not be more likely to suggest he had
lived so long in the presence of extreme danger he misjudged a change in its
intensity? Or is it possible he deliberately sacrificed himself that his son
might find a better life? All evidence indicates the Duke was a man not easily
-- from "Muad'Dib: Family Commentaries" by the Princess Irulan

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is -- I could be just as proud for half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at August 28, 2004 04:24 PM | TrackBack