Vengeful Cynic

Jackson, MI

Dumont, IA

Sherman, TX. Think Longview, but smaller.

Goldendale, WA

Smithville, TX. The buildings are ready to fall apart. The churches are dying. There is no economy save agriculture. Great place to raise kids with just enough education to know that they need to move away.

Alright guys, I think Wilson and Gallagher have the idea: I'd like to know why the town in question sucks (and so would others.) Also, if you know of more than one, I'll take that too.

...begin rant...
Odessa, DE. There is, literally, a church on every corner, and none of them are thriving. They are only attended by the people who live there: old folks with nothing better to do. And so the populaton dwindles. And dwindles. The buildings are in extreme disrepair and the streets are just a series of potholes barely strung together by pavement.
...End Rant...

That's exactly why Smithville is so annoying. There are churches everywhere, but they all seem to be dying.

Louisiana, MO. THe town is dead, and no one knows it. There are endless disputes as to the allocation of funds in the town council, so in the end, no one gets anything. There is an attempt to aquire more companies to fill the empty storefronts, but no one will come in because there are too amny empty storefronts. The only four-story building in town (the "skyline" locals call it) was destroyed in the last big run of thunderstorms. It was holding up the rest of the block, so the city is trying to salvage at least the first floor so they don't need to take down the whole block.

Gunnsion, CO.

They refused to build a Super Wal-Mart! (Okay, maybe that isn't a horrible thing). But yeah--Gunnison just kind of sucks. It isn't really scenic. It's only there to serve as a city between pretty places and ski towns.

Lake City, CO.

They exist as a quaint tourist trap for the summer and drag their feet to fight change. It is occupied by entrepreneurs and retirees and the retirees hate the tourists even though they are more or less tourists who live in town. Essentially, it's a town that is so boring that the residents pick a fight with each other over stupid shit each and every year.

I could provide qualification for Garnett's mention of Goldendale, Washington -- but in doing so, might say things that would be considered "rude" or "derogatory" in some circles. I'll abstain, for now. :)

Try Singapore City, Singapore. A pseudo-democratic southeast Asian totalitarian dictatorship run by an 80-year-old Taoist kook. The citizens are too apathetic to vote them out of office, even though district gerrymandering near-ensures opposition defeat at the polls.

Oh, and they jail opposition speakers. Some PAP (the ruling party for 40 years) members will sue aspiring opposition members into bankruptcy for "slander" or "defamation of character." The PAP-leader, afforementioned "Taoist kook," controls the courts, parliament, and media. He has a dedicated office of "Senior Prime Minister," which does not get mentioned in international reports about the tiny nation. Only the "Prime Minister" gets mentioned, who is really a powerless puppet.

Said Taoist kook, one Lee Kuan Yew, once had a "special octagon" minted into all of Singapore's coin currency when a monk advised him of "prosperity if the seal were placed in every home in the country." A city of 4 million -- mostly apathetic Malays, Indians, and Chinese expatriots -- that is legally its own nation by international law.

And they made bubblegum illegal. What more evidence do you need?

Manchester, United Kingdom:

The foggiest, dreariest, most crime-ridden urban dump on the British Isles. Also home to the ugliest Brits I've ever met, on-par with some residents of Mount Enterprise, TX (a nomination I hearitly second).

The unruly residents of Manchester take pride in only one thing, a soccer team, Manchester United. A team that wins-or-sucks by flip of coin. Not unlike how Dallas residents unwaveringly love the Dallas Cowboys NFL team, even if they completely suck.

A slum that claims to be better than London, even though they all wish Manchester life was as good as London when discussing the city at the dinner table. Wonderful place.

Final nomination: Malakoff, Texas.

Where a local eating at a shit-smelling McDonald's (the largest structure in the town) once referred to me as being "from the big city" in response to my telling him I was from Longview. The asshole of East Texas, situated nicely on Highway 31. If you're ever travelling on 31 and want a road break, wait for Corsicana, TX (and the bakery there) instead.

Hmm. I must have flown right through that one last summer when driving Longview to Whitney, Texas.

Correction: The restaurant in question was a Dairy Queen, not a McDonald's. I've been away from the Southern U.S. far too long already.

Port Angeles, WA.

This town is TINY and as far from everything as it could possibly be. It's located at the very tip top of the Olympic Peninsula. The only reason people go there is to take the ferry to Victoria BC and to look at old people. The most exciting thing going on there is the senior citizen's "Hand Made Toys" shop or something like that... They've got croqueted EVERYthing in there...kinda amazing, in a really boring way

Comment Necromancy FTW!

Canton, PA