In the spirit of LU as I am away, I must relate to you a scheme hatched by a male friend of mine who will go unnamed due to the controversiality of his ideas:
As a guy, I really don't like diapers at all and really can't stomach changing them. Maybe it's a lack of maternal instinct or something, but I can't really stomach the process. When I was thinking on this and the prospect of having kids of my own, I came up with a brilliant idea.Dogs eat anything... at least I know mine does. So I figured that what I would do is take the diaper off the kid and take him outside and let the dog lick him clean. Then I pop a new diaper on and PRESTO!... he's clean, and I had to do nothing but tear the old diaper off and put the new one on. Heck, I could just have the dog clean the diaper and put it back on Junior.
Needless to say, I was impressed but others were not. That said, I am definitely considering investing in a dog and some land, should the need arise. That said, I am much more in favor of this being reserved as a backup plan to the primary solution of having the wench change the diapers.
Posted by Vengeful Cynic at June 29, 2004 10:50 PM | TrackBackThat is the dumbest suggestion I've ever heard . . . Even if you could rely on the scheme, it's not worth the trouble of putting up with a dog.
If you don't want to change diapers (and you have my full sympathies there) get yourself a maid. If handled properly, I'm sure it could be managed, even in this country. If you can't figure it out, move to the third-world. That would be your best move at any rate . . .
Posted by: Blame Jared at June 29, 2004 10:58 PMPersonally, I would consider this one of many reasons not ever to have any dog at all, and even substantially limit any contact with dogs, and then just get the wife to do all the diaper changing... but maybe that's just me.
Posted by: Toad at June 29, 2004 11:14 PMAlternatively, this could be considered one of the many reasons not ever to have any children...
Posted by: Martinez at June 29, 2004 11:47 PMThe trick isn't so much not to have the children as Martinez said... but more to have the diapers dealt with. I'm not so much opposed to the children themselves, I just view the diapers as something that I would really like to avoid due to my intolerance for stuff like that.
Towards that goal, I am willing to consider any and all alternatives... bizarre and creative not being grounds for disqualification.
Posted by: Vengeful Cynic at June 30, 2004 12:19 AMI have always been scared to go around The Cynic because he always pursued me with "The Judge." Hopefully he wont mind me responding to his posts.
ed note: He doesn't mind at all
I think the idea is brilliant and like you I cant stomach the idea of wiping crap from my kids butt. My mom says it will be different when it is my kid, but I am not convinced. If you can convince Anna then you might be able to put this new idea into practice.
Posted by: Gent at June 30, 2004 01:52 AMThanks Gent, I'm glad to see we've got some solidarity in support of the idea. Granted, if I could afford and find a cheap maid like Wheeler is suggesting, I would obviously demote the dog idea to secondary backup... but as is I think I have been given a winner of a plan.
Posted by: Vengeful Cynic at June 30, 2004 08:31 AMI have always been a big fan of just sticking the kids ass in a tank full of hungry gold fish. It’s amazing how fast they will pick it clean, and it tickles too. Don’t ask me how I know this.
Posted by: C-4 at June 30, 2004 12:10 PM