February 10, 2003

Conversations with Retarded Monkeys

The Cynic Will Exact Vengeance Upon: High School Freshman Females

All throughout my primary and secondary education I would comment to varied and sundry individuals something to the effect of the following, "I hate stupid people... I wish they would all just die.""

Of course, these remarks were usually uttered with a mix of profanity (varying by what age you caught me at) and a great vehemence. If you knew me well, you knew that I probably wouldn't be the trigger-man. but you never really knew with that 100% certainty. And as life goes on that percentage of certainty that I have that tomorrow won't be that day keeps going down. I mean, just how long can I take the steady barrage of morons questioning my intelligence and challenging my every response? Sooner or later I'm going to have to vent... and God help us all if you actually do something more than questioning. I have great faith that if any of the winners of the Stellas were to have been sueing me or were introduced to me, it would be all that I could do to shoot them as opposed to beating them bloody with a Louisville Slugger first.

Have I been dealing with too many morons lately? You'd better believe it. And a lot of them keep running into me online. Here's a snippet of conversation that I wasted precious seconds of my life contributing to:

(names have been changed to prevent said idiots from teaming up with the sadists among you)
idiotgirl: Jonny (my little brother) said you could help me with my Latin
Vengeful Cynic: really?
idiotgirl: yeah... he said you took Latin and you're a college student in Texas
Vengeful Cynic: yeah...and?
idiotgirl: is that school you go to in Dallas?
VC: no, we wish it was in a city... but it's just in Longview
idiotgirl: but Longview is in California...
VC: that would be Long Beach
idiotgirl: oh... I have a friend that lives in Long Beach... her name is Nicky... do you know her?
VC: Why am I talking to you again?
idiotgirl: because your brother told me that you could help me with my Latin
VC: right... tell him I charge money to do his pimping for him

As you can tell... the Vengeful Cynic does not appreciate random conversations with semi-sentient females. That may sound redundant, but freshman girls in high school are 20x worse than the average wench. So no more harassment by high school freshman chicks. And if you give out my contact info to said chicks... well let's just say I'm going to send you to that special place in hell that they've got reserved for you.

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at February 10, 2003 02:04 AM