July 06, 2003

Emotional Self-Defense

Yay for another pseudo-intellectual blog post... if you don't like these, cease reading now.

I am always slightly amused by the variations in my own personality when it comes to interacting with people. I am fond of quoting sayings such as "nice guys finish last" and breaking out my own cynical and chauvinist rhetoric. This veneer along with the well-practiced routine of quips and wise-cracks tends to stay up throughout about 95% of my interactions with the outside world.

Sooner or later, some people hang around me to the point where they realize that the veneer isn't as solid as it appears at first glance and there really is a depth hidden behind the iron-clad veneer. Depending on how trustworthy an individual is deemed, they manage to see beyond the initial barrage of sarcasm and smartass remarks to at least some well thought-out sarcastic insights. This is where nearly all of the remaining 5% lives.

Finally, there is a remaining 1% of people who know me very well. Somehow they've managed to get past the hard exterior and the seemingly vicious reactions to outsiders and see a bit into the real Cynic. I'm not sure how this happens, but it does from time to time. Oddly enough, one of the fastest ways to get there is to be in the middle of an emotional crisis in my presence. For all of my hard talk, I can't stand to see a friend in pain... especially if they start crying. Tears are my own personal kryptonite. While years may get someone into my trust, transparency and honesty in hardship are things that seem to bypass all of my cynicism and skepticism.

Granted, there are manipulative witches out there who could use this to their advantage and indeed have in the past. You'd be amazed at the quality acting that some wenches can pull off. But eventually, the truth will come out... and be wary of the vengeance of angry and betrayed men. If there was a case where I'd hit a female, this would be it. After all, there's a special place in hell for manipulative witches, and I'm sure it's full of rapists and pedophiles.

Anyways, I'm not sure what prompted all of that... maybe remembering my ex, the manipulative bitch and the hellish relationship that was started on the 4th between my Senior year in high school and my Freshman year here. All that to say is, well, um.... yeah....

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at July 6, 2003 02:25 AM