November 15, 2003

The Spectre of Death

The spectre of death seems uncomfortably close of late. I just got off talking to my brother and apparently he and some guys went rock climbing yesterday and one of they guys he went with fell to his death. This is coming close on the heels of a wonderful conversation I had with a friend discussing what she would do if the choice came down to either she died or a baby she was going to have died.

You see, I've never really had any real fear of dying myself. I mean, sure, it would suck... but I guess my faith in where I am eternally doesn't let me get really bothered about that. But losing friends, that's the thing that scares me. When Bekah died the summer between Freshman and Sophomore year, it was like a piece of me got ripped out. I knew her for less than a year, and yet she was a close friend and losing her hurt... a lot. I can't even imagine what losing some really close friend or family member would be like.

I guess it just all boils down to this: do I have the faith to get through something like that. I pray that if God would put me in that sort of situation that He would also bless me with the faith necessary to get through it... and at the same time pray that nothing like that comes any time soon. Because I'm not so sure I have that much faith.

Posted by Vengeful Cynic at November 15, 2003 07:43 AM