June 18, 2004
Grace and Forgiveness! Arg!
Tonight I watched the most graphic and moving film on the Holocaust I have ever seen. A mere 32 minutes long, it is a French documentary that was filmed in 1955.
It was very difficult to watch. The only comforting factor is that I have proved to myself that I am still not desensitized to a point where I can no longer be distraught by the power of on-screen images.
The documentary did an excellent job on various levels. One of these was in bringing home the fact that, no matter how much of this we take in, we don't know what it was like and we can't know what it was like. We weren't there, and just seeing it on your TV while you're settled on a soft couch surrounded by good friends in a free country can't put us there. I'm rather glad of that, of course . . .
Another thing that struck me with particular (i.e. more than usual) force was the fact that the Nazis were a bunch of Goddamned, bloody bastards. We turn them into cartoon villains, and laugh about their salutes and their "Sieg heils" and their silly goosestepping. It isn't really that funny. They aren't funny at all. And people should also think twice before they accuse other people of being like the Nazis. That's a pretty serious matter, and it gets tossed around in an awfully flippant manner these days.
In a recent post I quoted someone as saying, "The world is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think," (or something along those lines). I generally prefer to spend my time thinking because I think everything comes off better that way, but it doesn't hurt to feel every now and again.
So, yeah, I was seething on the inside as I watched this . . . Shocked, horrified, and disgusted yet again by what took place, and I had decided to post something along the lines of the first sentence from two paragraphs ago, and simply leave it at that. I am terribly distressed that I can't . . . because I started thinking again.
Without God's grace I am every bit as guilty and evil and damned as Himmler or Eichmann. I hate having to quantify like that, and admit that we're all in the same league when it comes to sin, but it has to be done . . . (John 8:7 says so). There is no 9th Hell for the uber-sinners, they all go to the same place. And we all deserve it. Equally.
Anyway, condemnation isn't really my specialty, and self-condemnation even less so. Reflection of this nature isn't really my thing either. But, as I said, as much as I wanted to just climb on here and remind you all that Nazi-hating is still a really good idea, I felt that it wouldn't carry any significant weight, in the end, even if no one else noticed.
I remembered the account of Corrie Ten Boom's encounter with a former guard at Ravensbruck from the end of "The Hiding Place." That is still the most powerful story of human forgiveness that I have come across, and I still have a long way to go towards understanding what it takes to make that possible . . . not to mention beginning to practice it myself.
I guess this is all a bit disjointed, and no wonder. It's late, I'm tired, and I'm writing on emotion. What I'm really getting at is this:
Take all evil (past, present and future) seriously.
Remember that "There but for the grace of God . . ." You've got nothing to feel superior about.
Consider that if you think forgiveness is easy, you've probably just never been wronged badly enough. Be prepared for when you are.
Posted by Jared at June 18, 2004 11:59 PM | TrackBack