June 30, 2004

32 Signs You May Not Be A Patriot

A list I found in the back of GQ. A specific author is not credited. (I was looking through a copy of GQ because I was asked to find photographs of US "fashion" to use in China, but I must admit I found some interesting articles in it.)

01) You still eat French fries.
02) You don't salute Bill O'Reilly at the beginning of The O'Reilly Factor.
03) You listen to NPR.
04) You think you may have once engaged in "chatter" when you were on a crosstown bus.
05) You can't remember if Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani is the one who should be summarily killed.
06) You're still a fan of the Bill of Rights.
07) You didn't shop for major appliances in the months after September 11.
08) You've never read a Tom Clancy novel.
09) You're kind of turned on by the whole Mexican invasion.
10) You wouldn't mind messing with Texas.
11) You think universal health care is a sensible idea.
12) You get all your drugs from Canada.
13) Not only can't you name your assemblyman; you don't really know what one is.
14) You'd consider harboring a fugitive from justice...if she put out regularly.
15) You think Miss America is never half as good-looking as Miss Italy.
16) You'd rather sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" during the seventh-inning stretch than the lachrymose "God Bless America."
17) If twenty mujahideen tied you down and threatened you with cattle prods, you would quite willingly give them Dick Cheney's address.
18) You think the flag of Brazil is a lot cooler looking than the Stars and Stripes.
19) You can't name your amendments.
20) You lie your way out of jury duty every time.
21) You don't know the words to Toby Keith's "How Do You Like Me Now?!"
22) You're proud of the fact you live in a blue state.
23) You can't name a single Olympian.
24) You're afraid to visit certain parts of the country.
25) You still think the Geneva conventions make pretty good sense.
26) You used to play Quake with Mullah Omar.
27) You used to rent your attic to the Lackawanna Six.
28) You removed the W from your keyboard.
29) You don't Super Size.
30) You speak a foreign language.
31) You can see both sides of an argument.
32) You question the president's leadership.

Posted by Randy at June 30, 2004 01:01 AM | TrackBack