June 16, 2003

An Observation

I made a realization today that I can't believe I didn't see earlier. Looking at it, this thought should have surfaced long ago and I can't help but wonder why I am just now seeing it. The thought is this: my new car will always be a reminder that my sister was not able to reach sixteen.

Reviewing past conversations with my mother, I remember her telling me that she and my father wanted to buy me a new car. It is only now that I have realized that they could afford to get me a new car because they would not have to buy my sister a car. In fact, if she had not been killed, my mother would probably have given my sister her car and she would have got something new. Instead, I got a better car and my mother is keeping her Beetle.

The reason I felt this was worth mentioning is that I don't know if I simply failed to notice this fact or if I blocked it out in order to not have to think about it. If I did block it out, I can't help but wonder what other things I might have blocked out just because I don't want to think about them.

Posted by Randy at June 16, 2003 09:43 PM