My lovely wife and I decided to come up with some household rules, to aid in the governance of our eventual progeny.
1. Mom and Dad are always right.
2. Mom is righter then Dad.*
3. If Mom or Dad are proved wrong, refer to rule #1.
4. All rules must be memorized.
5. Rules instantiated post-event are still applicable to that event.
6. The rules are fair.
7. The rules are not fair.
8. The rules do not apply to Mom and Dad.
9. All the rules do not necessarily have to be divulged.
11. If the door to your parent's room is closed, stay away as you value your mortal soul (and mental health).
12. A clean room is next to godliness. In fact, it is godly in and of itself. (refer to rule #8).
13. Argument and debate over the rules is encouraged. It is also never successful.
15. Residents of age greater then 10 must pay for housing and food expenses.
16. No reading modern fiction without reading everything written before it.
17. The censor must approve of all printed materials brought on the premises.
18. Thou shalt fix my internets.
19. Fights and arguments amongst progeny are permissible insomuch as they do not disturb our royal slumber.
20. The rules are sekrit. Tell NO ONE.
* Certain articles are under debate between the parental figures. No, you don't get out of them.
Are we missing anything key to a happy and well-rounded child-rearing career?
Also, those who have had or are planning to have children shortly are encouraged to use this resource, albeit with credit (and royalties).
Teehee. I will have to file this away for future use. :)
Posted by: Paige at October 9, 2008 10:35 AMI'm going to guess rule #14 is also secret?
Could it be, perhaps: "Thou shalt not covet thy father's food?"
These are most excellent rules!
Concerning #13, I would suggest that rather than encouraging debate, the twerp-in-question should be required to submit a handwritten document of no less than three pages (ages 7-9, with additional pages required of older ones, at your discretion), outlining the child's questions concerning said rule. These grievances should be fully annotated, with at least 7 sources, and submitted in triplicate (no use of mechanical copiers allowed).
In addition, you made no mention of allowances, so I would simply adjure not to start down that never-ending road to parental bankruptcy. It will only provide opportunity for a future filled with pleas for amount upgrades, leading eventually to outside arbitration.
Require chores but do not pay for routine things such as cleaning one's room or feeding the pet gorilla. (naturally, if something extraordinary is asked...such as re-roofing the house, compensation might be in order)
Generally, children should be made to feel that as part of the family, certain things are expected, for the good of the family and to build character (you'll be able to make use of this little phrase, 'build character' in THOUSANDS of different ways)
What-EVER you do, don't let them think they live in a democracy. You two are the benevolent despots. The wife's job is to let the husband think he is in charge, but everyone knows that she really does all the gross work and therefore should assume most of the glory.
One more thing...find ways to work in the question, "If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you, too?" whenever possible.
You are most wise to be thinking of these rules ahead of time. Ma commends thee.
Posted by: Ma Hoyt at October 11, 2008 12:28 PM