Today was one of the few days I was just ready to cry at the end of.
It started with waking up and feeling like crap. That happens when I go to bed with an ugly migraine. We go to work and we're running a bit late. But i'm not doing anything to try and get to school because I know I'll only be a minute or two behind, and it wasn't like I had a class--just cafeteria duty. I'm a block from the school and as I go through the intersection I notice a car pull out from some mcD's entrance and they stay in the far right lane, I'm on the inside lane. All of a sudden, no warning at all I see a blinker and a white car turning left right in front of me to make a left turn. I'm going 55. The car was lucky I had good brakes because I was dang close. Heart pounding I get to school. I do my duty. I get through one class. One of my attitude problems was being a real @$$ today. and I had other students just doing really peevish things. Like standing there at the pencil sharpener, sharpening and sharpening and sharpening.
9:30 approaches and I need to leave for a quick dr appt. But there is no one to watch the class to ward off destruction and the bell is being held due to some testing going on. I grab someone to watch my class and jet off running just a few minutes behind to get to the eye dr. That went smoothly. ONe of the few things today to do so. I couldn't believe that I was back at school within 35 minutes. Second period, being grateful to not have a sub (they had one for 10 minutes) was mostly okay. Normal pill gets a little too enthused with the idea of four-dimensions (I was explaining and showing with pictures why an x squared cannot be added to an x cubed). Really, I feel grayish hairs forming.
They go, and I have to help get the class next-door started on their work since they had a sub, and math subs are hard to find.... I feel for their teacher sort of. and they kept saying mean things. I finish up and go back to my classroom to prepare for our TAKS Tutorial monday. I'm supposed to try and call parents on failures and stuff, but I suddenly find my conference period gone just trying to get things ready. Actually, I had about ten minutes, but I could feel a migraine and I knew if I didn't take a little break before lunch, my last class would go worse.
Lunch was fine. Eighth period. A class I generally don't look forward to sometimes. I have some sweet kids in there, and it's my smartest group, but it's also a complex group with lots of students needing more individual attention. and I have two pills in there who, by the end of class, I was ready to literally kick their rears out the door. or throw something at them. I almost wrote them up, but that takes time away from the lesson and at that point they were just laying their heads down not paying attention. I told the class at the end that if I see them not taking notes and they can't show me their notes when they want help, I won't help them.
No child left behind can be a good idea for those children that don't want to be left behind. But if you drag a child through kicking and screaming, they are going to be the worse for wear and the others aren't going to reach their full potential. Leave them behind if they don't care. That's my philosophy at times. Other kids want and need my time because they care.
Anyways, It was just a really long and tense day. I'm feeling like a horrible teacher because I'm not organized, at all, not near like I should be (yes i know I can't be perfect my first year) and I have kids who have been trying and still aren't getting things as basic as perimeter--add the sides, and adding like terms. I draw pictures, I relate things as much as I can, and there is some block that just isn't moving. Actually, the ones who are trying are slowly starting to get it. Unfortunately, we have too much to cover before April. and some are getting nasty when I pass back quizzes--for example:
"If you wanted us to combine like terms after multiplying the polynomials, why didn't you put it in the directions"
I taught them from the beginning that when multiplying them they need to combine like terms at the end. But the person who said this slept through the lesson. Tough.
and there's all this UIL stuff I need to be doing and paperwork to fill out for budgeting and stuff.
*drinks more mocha*
oh, and i have a math/sci meet tomorrow, so I don't have a morning break to look forward to tomorrow. and people were behind retards in the parking lot at Starbucks/hastings. Everything, just everything, kept going wrong in little pieces today. I'm afraid to cook. I'll send Josh for Fazoli's i think. and some wine, to help me relax a bit more. I wish our tub was clean enough for me to take a bath. I'd put my contacts in and soak and read and drink tea if so.
But, this is what I signed up for.
Or is that redundant?
well, another precious holiday was spent dealing with a running behind doctor's office and than a rainy drive back to Longview. I guess I should start with Saturday though.
Saturday I was up and at the school at 645 with coffee and a muffin. I followed the bus to Daingerfield for a math/science meet. Did the normal thing there (quite boring, all the coaches do is grade...) and left early, around noon.
Picked up Josh and luggage and we headed to Houston. Mom Toad and Danny treated us to a WONDERFUL meal at Ninfa's Mexican food and I had a helluva 99 cent margarite--it was small and yet I was still SLIGHTLY buzzed.
Sunday we lazed around the house and enjoyed another good meal of shrimp and potatoes, --oh yeah and breakfast burritos that morning. I even slept till 930!!!
Monday we got up early and drove to the medical center for a 740 appt. I got there on time and waited an hour before being called back and another 2 something hours before the doctor came in. Now, hold your breath....
Alright, so the verdict is that sometime in my life I will need a pacemaker--the question is when? Now? or later? The doctor said for me it is a matter of a quality of life decision. Based on what he has observed in the last two years he thinks I'll feel better with one. He also said that he has noted a worsening in my degree one block--the P-T interval has gotten longer. So, we left and are now thinking, wondering, praying. A big issue for me right now is the cost even with insurance. So prayer from all for wisdom is appreciated. The doctor said he honestly can't see me going forever without one--I'll need one in the future. He also said an EP test would be sort of a waste of time since all it would do is tell us whether or not it's immediately necessary (he doubts this since I haven't blacked out in over six years) or if the problem is more benign. An EP test says where the signal is getting lost. A dangerous spot is above the AV node ( I think) and the benign spot is below. Go do research if you're confused :-p
After leaving we met up with Toad and Mollie at the Galleria and had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. YUMMMMM! and than we picked up our luggage and drove back to Longview. Yet again, it RAINED on the way back. not just a steady rain, it stormed. Somehow, driving back from Houston means I get stuck with windy stormy rain--full speed wiper rain. *sigh* at least people were being more careful this time, and it's easier for me to see in the complete dark. But the rain slowed us down and added about an hour to the drive. I was exhausted when we got back and yet I had a bit of grading to do.
School today was normal. I have a workshop tomorrow and am leaving the students with a sub and test *worried look* Oh well, my experience with those who cheat is that they tend to fail anyways. I hope they get a good sub, good by my definition, not theirs.
Peace out. (or as i tell the algebra students--piece it out!!!! simplify first)
somehow, they don't understand that the word simplify means to make easier. The refuse to simplify before trying to solve, even when we tell them to in the directions. *sigh* until they ask for help on a long nasty problem and I sit down and tell them that they are making life hard on themselves.
Today I went to Starbucks and the quote on the back of the cup was from a Canadian chef named Anna Olson.
There were some other ironic things today. and sadly, I now can't remember. I have spent the last two hours cleaning and picking up our apartment. and using my new vacuum. I was scared by how much it picked up out of the carpet....
another week of school down. another weekend to Houston for a heart dr appt. yay.
Tomorrow I'm at the school by 645 am to follow the bus to Daingerfield for a Math/Sci meet. I'll leave there around noon, pick up Josh and drive to Houston to spend the weekend with Danny and Mom Toad until our Monday dr appt. We'll even see the Toads since they're coming back from Stu's wedding Sat. night. Crazy how this works out.
Really, I had something more interesting. Hopefully I'll get around to posting pictures....but if that takes as long as it took me to vacuuming my apartment....
Whatever happened to the little string that helped people get into the candy package? It take me nearly 5 minutes of fingernailing the top of the "tube" to get through foil and wax paper to unleash the candies. Sort of frustrating.
My brain is normal. The EEG said so and the MRI too.
Now, my heart on the otherhand....
School. almost two weeks down. but Who's counting?
I guess some of you are interested to here what's up in my little boring world.
I had the MRI done and it was clear. That was the one I thought could be interesting so that's good.
Last Thursday, I had the test of the infamous three hours of sleep--an EEG to test for seizure tendencies. It was a long day but the test wasn't so bad, except for the forced hyperventilation and strobe light. I did start twitching with the hyperventilation, but either the tech didn't want to say something or wasn't too concerned. At least I didn't have a seizure :-p
I've got one week of school down and things are still going fairly well there it seems. Knock on wood, but things are so very different from last year with discipline. I just need to be organized..... I blame it on lack of bookshelf space and other things. and piles of paper get so daunting to look at it. (Although I know full well it would probably only take me 2 hours to organize things.)
It's good to have our friends back in Longview and I really enjoyed the Friday night of tacos with the Toads and than a movie. and Saturday was fun with a game of BS and good hot tea from C.G. and I enjoyed myself last night after the long drive to Dallas and back by staying home and relaxing. Sorry, I was just plain tired. Ahh, the trip to Dallas *goes hunting for news of fire*
It's strange dealing with my grandfather's death. if I'm really dealing with it. I get these almost teary moments when I see teddy bears (he collected them) or other little things which connected me to him--even a bag of prunes (he made an awesome prune-apple cake) I'm glad that I have the memories.
Anyways, I think I may be making myself some tea soon and researching good eyedrops for i think allergy-itchy eyes. It's hard to know for sure, and there's a rash on my upper cheeks near my eyes. Something's irritating them.... and I'm praying that this cough that's developing isn't going to be what I had last year. Otherwise, it'll be a long month or two.
For now, that's all. I have a doctor's appointment in Houston next Monday, and I'm calling the neuro to ask about the EEG readings tomorrow. I figure it's good news if they haven't already called me.