I've been working on cleaning up my computer files a bit and was deleting some old AIM logs. I've gotten rid of all but one of them. They generally depress me and almost all were from that infamous freshman spring semester of great turmoil.
Brings back a lot of thoughts, memories, and feelings. It also has made me realize how grateful I am for my happy stable marriage with Josh and not having to mess with love unknown. It was good when I finally learned how to be happily single, but it was such a struggle until then.
But then, I wonder if I would trade that semester for another. I learned so much and grew so much. It led me to one of the times I felt closest to God, even closer than I feel now. That year I was nineteen.....so much happened that 2002. But I miss the me of that period of time sometimes.
To dinner at Joe's, the Scholl's treat.
We are celebrating Josh's birthday this Friday night--say around 530 or so, at Joe's by treating hungry friends to a favorite meal at Joe's. You pay for your drink and I'll get the food. and I might conjure up some cake or something like that too. Afterwards, whoever isn't busy can go with us on a Christmas lights run to Marshall for entertainment and coffee. or we can watch a movie at our place. We'll figure it out then. Leave a comment if you're coming to dinner!
A post made a couple of months ago on ego-centric praise songs got me thinking a lot about worship and different songs we sing at church and stuff. Something I've come to understand in the last couple of years is that worship is about giving glory to God, and so often we limit worship to the act of singing in church or chapel. Praying, service to others, and learning can all give glory to God depending on our attitude and motivation. Worship draws us closer to God. and as it seems to be with everything, everyone has their own unique way in getting close to God. Some revel in music, like me, and others enjoy learning and deep thinking. I enjoy this too, but music is the easiest pathway for me to connect to God--it's easier for me to focus with music and I am easily distracted during sermons and such when I try to focus on the material.
Songs too are very different in their nature, and I don't think that a song which doesn't specifically focus on God isn't worshipful. (That's a lot of negatives...) Anyways. There are songs that give glory to God by telling a story, testifying of what God has done. (such as "Amazing Grace") There are songs that are meant as encouragement to other Christians--as we are called to do. I think particularly of a song our music minister wrote for the installation of our now-gone rector. One of the best ways I receive encouragement is through music which is why I started to consider worship in a different way and why the comment-happy post got me thinking.
I am sitting here at home celebrating that I am not shopping on the black Friday of shopping. I hate crowds, and while there are clothes and such that I need--I can't bear the thought of all the people and the lines.
Thanksgiving was good--with fun times playing on the computer--all of us at Toad's, and AWESOME food. Molly makes a mean apple pie. and my pumpkin pie was the best I've ever made. (I swear it's the Kitchen Aid that helps me get the right consistency...)
I still haven't felt like I've caught up on sleep yet--but I've had to get up around 8 still every morning this week. Later than normal for me, but I'm in such a dead sleep when Josh drags me out of bed. I've been taking care of blood tests and such for the doctor over the last couple of days--felt sympathy for the poor young teenish kid going through a glucose test today.
I've gotten a few projects graded this morning. I can't make myself sit and do them in one round. So I grade 2 or 4 and than take a few minutes break and go back, or I take a longer break. Each one takes about 5 minutes and I have 20 more to go...so only about two more hours of it.... rar.
Life with the month long heart monitor is fun. But this one is cooler because it doesn't make noise when i hit record and it auto-records the really unusual stuff. and I figure out that I can cancel the beeping after an auto-record with erasing it. This is good to know before I go back to school.....
and other than the stress of trying to set up an appointment with a neurologist locally, I enjoy being relaxed. Since I didn't get the appointment in Houston I decided I'd just get a referral to a local neuro. Well, they specifically want a local doctor to refer me not my Houston doctor. (good grief.) So I called the clinic where I normally first go with general sinus infections and stuff and they said they would call me back. not having heard from them in a few days, I went by this morning after getting blood drawn and shared my conundrum again. One of the nurses called me back, who is usually nice, and asked why I was being referred to a neuro. I explained about the muscle tremors and shakiness being unusual to a heart condition. She said they couldn't refer me because they hadn't seen me for it and I had to get my Houston dr to do it. She was being really rude. I mention again that they won't accept and out of town referral so now I have to go my Longview cardiologist and have him talk to my Houston EP and have the cardio refer me to a neuro. and of course with it being the Thanksgiving holiday I can't make any more calls until Monday. RARRRRRR! It's not that I'm looking forward to the extra costs of going to a neuro, but I'd really like to know whey I keep getting these tingling sensations in my arms and the tremors. If they hadn't been a new and frequent occurence I wouldn't push it any further. Grrrr. I don't want to waste the neurologist's time, and I'm tired of having my time wasted. okay. enought ranting.
and now, I shall post a few thoughts on worship.
so we left for houston on saturday. arrived and relaxed with an aunt and uncle and cousins. Sunday visited my grandpa and then headed to Galveston where we wandered around and enjoyed good food in a fun atmosphere.
and then Today. The great visit the doctor day.
Arrived early and checked in and updated info. Was called in around 9. Didn't see doctor for a LONG time--probably around 11. He ordered multiple more tests and said see a neurologist because he was concerned about the shakiness and tremor symptoms. So in the next two hours I had an echo and stress test done, which were of course perfectly normal. and I walked away with another event monitor that is much more friendly and much smarter. It doesn't make annoying noise when I record, and it's programmed to record and strange events automatically. So here we go another month... we finished around 115, but waited around another 2.5 hours because they were trying to making an appt with a neuro down there. at 345 i told them I was going home and would find a doctor up here. I wasn't looking forward to another low sleep night next to sick snoring husband on and okay futon bed. and I was just ready to wave Houston goodbye again.
so that's the story for now.
Visiting family and then doctor.
I HAVE THE WHOLE WEEK OFF!!!!!! I took a very limited supply of grading from school and there is none here with me. I can even do a full clean on our apartment next week..... hahaha.
Two more days, two more days the students and teachers chant....
till freedom from all student germs...
a drs visit, a bit of grading, good food and fellowship, and a whole lot of sleep await.
oh, and walgrns refunded me for the prescription after i sent a complaint email and the store manager called me and apologized.
never ever purchase prescriptions at the wal-greens across from wally world in longview. ever. I waited 40 minutes in the drive thru just to pick up a prescription we had dropped off 3 hours earlier. I sat at the window for about 30 minutes of those, with the woman responding to me about every 10 minutes. See if I ever go there again. I didn't even get an apology for the long wait. I watched them serve customer after customer at the desk inside while I was being ignored.
before i get a week off!!!!! finally!!!!!!
I'm over a third of the way through my first year of teaching, and other than being peeved that I have to explain why students are failing to the principal and not the students themselves, things seem to be going pretty well still. It's crazy busy day to day but overall climate has improved.
It's kinda lonely sometimes. There are a few other younger, newer teachers, but I don't work closely with them. The ladies I do work with and eat lunch with are great....it'd just be nice to have some closer to my age that I could make friends with.
We've had lots of good times with friends over the last couple of weeks. and greatly enjoyed Les Mis Friday night as well as time with the BABs on Saturday with delicious foods.
Other than Josh being sick with something nasty...and me hoping to make it by without too much....I feel something coming on but I don't think it's the same., life is pretty good. If i could just somehow magically get papers graded though...
If you're going to Les Mis tomorrow night:
it starts at 7 so plan on meeting us at PT High School around 630 for the hope of decent seats.
From LU--Either get on Cotton or Marshall/Hwy 80 and go west until the intersection for HG Mosely. Turn right on Mosely and then make a left on Fairmont. Go about half mile and the first parking lot with a sign saying "little theatre parking". We'll try and be outside to look for you.
Email also coming your way.
I did the coolest thing tonight with Dr. S. Watson and a bunch of St Mike's Ladies. It's called Super Suppers and you go and prepare 6 or 12 meals for 2-3 or 4-6 people. Dr. W and I split at $100 each so that we could walk away with half portions (2-3 people) of all 12 meals. Ribs, pork tenderloins, turkey, chicken, stuffed pizza, pie, dressing, and all sorts of yummy things. The best part: no chopping and no cleaning up!!!! Plus, it's all prepared so that you just stick it in the oven one evening and voila! 12 meals with 2 hours of work--simply placing all the ingredients together. They provide everything, you just bring a laundry basket or large ice chest to carry your food away in. Plus they have hors d'ouevres and wine!
So now I have a few things in the fridge for the week and a full freezer of food waiting to be cooked over the next couple of weeks.
and I looked up seizures and discovered that having a seizure does not necessitate the loss of conciousness....
Something to talk to the doctor about....especially since both of my grandmothers suffered from mini-strokes in their last years. One who had dementia as a result, and the other who was really just not with us for three years.
Well, it's a good thing my brother and sister-in-law didn't get too much in pink from people. The lazy, being two weeks late, little new nephew of mine was born last night after they induced my sister-in-law and then had to do a c-section because he apparently still wasn't coming...or so my mom made it sound. Anyways, at 9 pounds, 10 oz, I welcome Noah Eugene Olson into the world--a November baby after all--and we thought he'd come in September....
"Eric and Amanda Olson are proud to announce the birth of their son, Noah Eugene Olson, born Thursday, November 3, at 10:03 p.m. He weighs in at 9 lbs., 10 oz, and is 20 1/4 inches long. Amanda and Noah are both doing well, Eric seems to be holding up OK too, and the whole family is praising the Lord for this miracle of life."
Ughhh. I don't know if the week will ever end but THANK GOD TOMORROW IS FRIDAY
To give you all a run down since some of you heard about the ER trip last night:
Monday started off well but went down hill when I got pulled aside and was reamed by the other M/S coach for "tearing down the kids so soon after they found out they won the meet" All I had done was tell them GOod job, but your some of your scores were still lower than we had expected. Apparently parents called and were quite offended and the students now don't like me at all. Okay, maybe not THAT bad. Also, apparently another coach from a different school called and was offended about something I said about one of the tests being easier to try and downplay one of her student's successes....This I do not remember at all. I do remember mentioning that we thought the tests were easier but I never made the comment in response to a specific student's scores. Oh, and as I was standing here listening and trying to make a few comments here and there, she talked about how she felt degraded and offended a couple of WEEKS earlier when I had told the students that she couldn't sign their school behavior point sheets because she wasn't a teacher. I wasn't sure of the rules at that time regarding this new motivational system and was informing the kids that the office probably would prefer my signature. Not because she wasn't a teacher/coach to the kids, but just because I was more official or something. So She put me back in my place as just the teacher sponser and these are her kids and I was to watch my comments and never tear her kids down like that again. That put a damper on my day.
Tuesday. strained. but overall not too bad. the team wasn't all that hungry for the food we had gotten for them in the afternoon.....it was strange! I don't remember much else. probably because of yesterday...Oh, and I had an appointment with my Longview cardiologist and really all we did was talk about how they know about the block and there's no clear-cut answer as to what to do and how talking about how they thought it had been a high vagal tone blah blah blah and make an appointment with my EP. So, we'll be going to Houston in a couple of weeks. Joy.
Wednesday...I'd still been feeling up and down with the heart stuff throughout the school day and felt generally week. err. weak. I'd had a leg cramp the night before and my leg was still sore, I dealt with my failing and borderline students. Just another day. Went home, too my B.C. pill because I had forgotten. Had yummy dinner at Carino's with some wine. Came back home, worked on my defensive driving for an hour, played a little WoW, watched a little t.v. and fell asleep on the couch. Josh was dragging me to bed and teasing me because I literally could not make my knees respond to stand and walk. He thought I was joking. I crashed in bed and pulled the covers over because I was cold and started shaking. and couldn't stop, even after warming up. My entire body just kept convulsing. After about 20 minutes we decided we'd better go to the ER and I checked my blood pressure on the way out the door...well, as Josh helped me out the door to the car. it was reading over 140/90 with a pulse of 109. Not good for me. So we headed to the hospital and I explained what was happening and I actually didn't wait too long to talk to a nurse. They went ahead and pulled me into a room because at that point my b.p. was 163/117, pulse 109. I slowly stopped shaking and the nurse checked me out and later a doctor came in and they kept an eye on my blood pressure. They drew blood, ran an EKG....than decided to do a CT scan to make sure I didn't have any clots because one of the blood tests showed a possibility. (probably from the b.c.) Finally, things were normalizing in my heart....they didn't have to give me any b.p. medicine to lower that. I explained again my past history. and we were in there for about 4 hours and finally went home.
I was going to have to at least go to school and get things ready for a sub if I decided to call in sick a couple hours later. However, as zonked and drugged as I was (they gave me adavan or something like that I think) I turned my alarm clock off in my sleep--even snoozing a couple of times. and Josh woke up at 7:45. I have to be at the school by that time. and I hadn't called in for a sub. Thus, I got up and threw clothes on and ran out the door and was walking in the school door as the bell rang. I wasn't feeling horrible, just still weak and tired and I hadn't planned anything taxing on me for the day so I figured I'd make a go of it. and I made it...although I ended the day with raised blood pressure from a couple of boys at the pep rally who I saw push another kid into the people behind him--just in fun of course. But I held them, talked to a principal and wrote them up. *sigh* The pep rally was the last one of the year (HALLELUJAH) and featured all the high school band kids, majorettes, dance team ( award winning) and cheerleaders. I was actually impressed with everyone's routines this week. Better than I'd seen before.
I wrapped up at school, picked up some apple cider at Starbucks since I should probably avoid caffeine for awhile, and picked up Josh from work, and now I'm here at home trying to get myself energized to take Josh shopping for more dress pants.
thanks everyone for the prayers. my doctor's appointment in houston is that first monday of thanksgiving week. let's hope I can avoid any more major doctor visits for heart problems until then. My cardiologist here wasn't offering much hope, even with a pacemaker of the lightheadedness and chest tightness bouts going away for good. pacemaker would only guarantee that I not pass out. I just want to know what triggers the episodes and what we can do, and if there isn't something neurological or mini-stroke or allergy related going on.