Leatherwood's Pensieve

February 22, 2005

Joshua Scholl

This is going to be one of my more difficult eulogies to write, because it's harder for me to find words to explain my affection and admiration for Josh Scholl. I certain do admire him, and I certainly have a great deal of affection for the man, but why it should be so is harder to put into words.

Josh Scholl is one of the people that it's almost impossible to forget, and almost impossible to be ambivalent about. You either like him a great deal or dislike him a lot. I met him for the first time at the Heritage Scholarship competition in February of 2001. I don't recall much about the meeting and doubt that he remembers it. If I recall, he was fairly dismissive of the competition. If my memory is correct, that fits in well with his character. I don't remember what my first reaction to the man was ... I think I dismissed him a cynical fool.

Fortunately for me, that was not my eventual reaction. When I met him again in the fall of 2001, my reaction was much different. I liked him then, and have liked him ever since. I think the difference may have been the way he talked during our Cornerstones (again, I still don't remember its real name) class. I'd never heard anyone like Josh Scholl. I still haven't heard anyone quite like him. I'd never heard someone so cheerfully cynical about everything! It's hard to imagine a personality more radically different from my own - to a large degree, it seemed to me that he dismissed the education system as irrelevant and pointless, whereas to me the educational system was the bedrock of my personal identity. It was the one area of my life in which I unquestionably excelled. Scholl excelled at the system too, but he didn't care about it. He dismissed "happy people" as fools, and cheerfully mocked hard work and dedication (Remember, I am only giving you my rough impression of him - he himself might have a very different perspective on his behavior and motivations).

Why was I drawn to him? Why am I drawn to him? I guess it might be because deep down, I knew he was telling the truth. Maybe not the whole truth, but a very significant part of it. And there's something in me that loves the truth and seeks after it. It is true that the majority of the educational system is a farce. For example, I have a better GPA than just about anyone here at school (there are people with better GPAs, don't get me wrong). But that only means that I'm better at multiple choice and essays (think "filibuster") than they are. It does not mean that I am intelligent or wise. Likewise, it is true that the happiness of most people is either temporary, changing with their environment, or idiotic, born out of an individuals refusal to look at life honestly.

So I guess I can say that what drew me (and draws me) to Scholl is that he tells the truth, and he tells the part of the truth I don't often hear from anyone else.

Let's see ... more about Scholl. Right from the beginning of our first semester here, I knew he could be our leader. I don't know how I knew it, but I did. He had the charisma for it, and even more, he attracted likeminded people to himself. Scholl has a gift for drawing out like-minded people. His gift was not enough to unite the Honors Program - there were and are many people who don't like him or are put off by his manner. Certainly his manners were (and, to a lesser degree, are) terrible. He does not give respect to things or people that do not deserve or earn it. His cynicism frightens a certain kind of person, repulses another kind of person, and draws a third kind. I still believe that together with Becky, Scholl could have united virtually the entire program. It didn't happen, for many different reasons. I'm not quite sure I regret it ... true, it would be nice to have united the program, but the other things that have come about instead, like the Mullets and the Shadow Council and other good things. I'm just glad that I'm not God and don't have to pick between the two. I can mourn what might have been and celebrate what is.

I should also mention that things like the Shadow Council and the uniting of a significant part of the Honors program needed another person ... well, several other people, but one another person in particular ... who will get his own eulogy is good time.

Back to Scholl. He's changed a lot in four years. He has abandoned none of the things that I've loved him for, but he has become a great deal less outrageous in promoting them. For example, he now accepts the limitations of cynicism as an explanation for all human behavior. He now is engaged to a lovely lady (who might also warrant a eulogy, time permitting ...). He rejected some of the excesses involved in the trouble between students and faculty a few years ago. For all these things, and also for remaining himself, I admire him even more.

I wish I knew the story of Scholl better than I do ... most of my readers will be much more familiar with it than I am ... remember what I said about my circle of immediate notice. I'm sure there's so much more to tell. Perhaps some of my readers will be inspired to tell some more of the story. But, in any case, now for the eulogy proper.

I've emphasized Scholl's cynicism, because it's true - the man is cynical. But he's more than cynical. In the years I've known him, and particularly seeing him in action during POD and various Council meetings, he has always been ... I'm not sure how to put it. He has always been fair to the people he's disliked. He has tried to be just in his criticism. And even more than that, he has a genuine heart for God. I might have been too put off by his personality if I had never heard the man pray. Thank God I have! He prays to a person he knows and trusts and loves. He has avoided the worst trap of cynicism in being willing to love others and love God. He has kept the wisdom of cynicism while remembering the love and wisdom of God. For that, I love and respect him.

I'm trying to figure out why his misanthropy and professed dislike of women have never bothered me. It would be partially correct to say that he's joking, or enjoys getting a rise out of people - he does. I guess it's because Scholl is never cruel. When he pokes at you, it isn't to hurt you; it's to surprise you. I find the man who claims to dislike all humanity to be a person who loves his friends. I find the man who claims to dislike all women to be a person who treats the women with whom he comes into contact with respect and affection. I find the man who hates the world to be one who loves his neighbor. Maybe when I'm older and wiser, I'll find better words to express it.

I ought to mention this, too - in a professional setting, I'd give him the highest recommendation any day (though probably not to the CIA). His skills with and knowledge of computers are awesome.

Scholl will be graduating this semester and getting married and heading off into the world, and I wish him the best luck in the world. If I am inclined to vote Becky "most likely to succeed," I'd probably vote Josh "most likely to be interesting." I want to know what happens in his life, and how God uses him. I want to know who he becomes and what he does. He's definitely near the top of the list of people I'll look up when I get to heaven.

*to Scholl specifically*