Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. It was a good day. I got to have two Thanksgiving dinners. One at my roommate's grandmother's house, and one at Dr. Olson's house. Both were very good indeed, and yet quite different.
I spent the rest of the evening watching a James Bond movie, and laughing at Hackers. Very relaxing indeed.
I'm still trying to figure out why I didn't want to go anywhere this weekend. I could have; I could have gone to see family in Tulsa with my cousin, or I could have gone to see family in Tyler. But I didn't. Instead, I stayed here, mostly by myself. My roommate's been gone since yesterday afternoon, and won't be back until late this evening. I'm displaying clearly antisocial behaviour.
But I didn't want to go anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere until I go home. The last time I left, it was to go to funeral. I'm still trying to understand that. And sometimes, I think, it's good for me to be alone.
*shakes off morbidity*
It's hard to believe that today is Friday. It already feels like the weekend should be over. And then I remember that tomorrow's Saturday; it's a nice feeling.
*wanders off to go see a movie*
I made it through all my classes yesterday without crashing, and sat down to read the chapter for Networks. Normally when I fall asleep reading a book, I can feel it coming. Last night, however, I would jerk awake and then realize I had dozed off. By the time I finished, it was 11, so I said to myself, "Ardith, go to bed. It will be good for you." And then my roommate came in and said, "Ardith, go to bed. It will be good for you." So I went to bed. I got up at 7 this morning, read the email that Dr. Baas had sent saying class was canceled, and went back to bed. I got up at 11, ate lunch, and wandered off to my last class of the day. Dr. Varnell came in early to tell us that class was canceled, and I suddenly realized that today is going to be a very good day.
Dude, it's like...
And people think I'm a dork. This guy obviously has way too much time on his hands.
And yeah, I stayed up all night. Otherwise I'd still be in bed right about now.
So, yeah. I'm working on that paper. It's actually coming together. Instead of 6 pages of wandering incoherency, I have 4.5 pages which make some sort of logical sense. Which is a good thing. I think.
I'd probably have more done by now, but I've been distracted by the archives of a new webcomic. Helen, Sweetheart of the Internet. Quite scary, actually. It's shocking how much of myself I can see in her.
Funny, I don't get distracted nearly as easily when I'm doing something like rewriting networking scripts in Bash. Odd, that.
I think it's just going to be easier not to go to bed tonight. Sleep is overrated, anyway. Cappuccino rocks.
*pounds head on desk*
Must... get... back... to... paper.......
My computer is back up, thanks to Moore lending me a power supply for a couple of days. I ordered a new one, and used the chance to get a GeForce2 MX400 video card. At which point I became slightly happier, and decided this was all for the best anyway. New stuff should be here Wednesday. If it's not, I'm going to have the heads of the people at the Mail Center.
I also now seem to have the best excuse ever for my paper not to be finished on Monday. One of two things will happen:
A. I'll take advantage of the excuse, and sleep in tomorrow.
B. I won't sleep in tomorrow, I'll get the draft finished, and I won't have to worry about it over Thanksgiving break.
I'm not sure which is going to happen yet.
I think I should go to bed.
Ardith is not happy. At the moment, it looks like the power supply in her computer is dead.
People who mess around with breakers should be shot.
I walked in puddles tonight. It made me happy.
Well, I got better. Mostly. Except for the cough that decided it wouldn't go away. Oh, well.
It was a fairly normal weekend: I saw some movies, I hung out with friends, and I slept a lot. Unfortunately, I'm still tired. It seems like I'm always tired now; I think it's about time for break again.
Oh, and I also read a lot of Frank Herbert. He wrote some good sci-fi, and I haven't even gotten to the Dune books yet. The Godmakers was great, as were Whipping Star and Destination: Void. I'm in the middle of The Dosadi Experiment and I still have The Jesus Incident to go. Each book seems fascinated with some philosophical construct. In Whipping Star, it's language, meaning, and communication. In Destination: Void, it's consciousness. Good stuff, definitely. It's also nice to have a little time for free reading again. I'm not sure how it happened, but I'm enjoying it.
In other news:
I took the Nerdity Test, got a horrifyingly low score of around 45%, and promptly retook it. Much better. My score is now a semi-respectable 56.8% I think I can now sleep at night, knowing that I am truly a nerd.
I'm sick. I'm not happy about it.
It has been a full and eventful weekend in the Drama That is Ardith's Life and Will Not Stop. Ain't it great?
I just got done drinking some cappuccino and watching "The Importance of Being Ernest". Not necessarily in that order. As a result, I'm in a royally good mood, and have decided I should be productive for awhile. After I finish writing this blog post, of course.
Also, "Many Dimensions" by Charles Williams is good. Everyone should read it. Just like everyone should watch "The Importance of Being Ernest".
Other notable events of this week:
- I watched 3 other movies, and spent several hours working on about 50 pieces of a 1000-piece puzzle
- I slept. A lot. It was nice.
- I read. A lot. This was also nice.
I also heard that my dad's defibrillator went off 6 times in the past 3 days. This was not so nice. Not so nice at all, in fact. If this keeps up, they're going to take him in to the hospital and put him on an IV with his current heart drug. Apparently it's having trouble kicking in, since they just changed his medication a few weeks ago when they replaced aforementioned defibrillator. My dad is scared to death. Rather understandable, given the circumstances. Me, I just feel like thrashing something. It's a good thing nobody was around when I first found out; it probably would have been rather scary to watch. I was mad. I'm so sick and tired of watching things like this happen and not being able to do anything about it.
And yet, all I can do is trust that God knows what he's doing. Because he does. I've seen it over and over again. My head knows it. I just have trouble translating that to my emotions.
After all, at least my dad is alive. David's isn't. The same thing that killed my uncle almost killed my dad 9 years ago. I don't understand it at all. There are a lot of things I don't understand. I think I've gone into emotional overload; I've moved into a state where I'm just living one day at a time. One hour at a time; it's all I can do to swim through each moment's shifting currents. I can't stand up and look around, let alone look ahead. The bottom disappeared long ago.
So much for the good mood.
I think I'll go take a walk, get some more caffeine, and finish working through my Digital microlab. Maybe I'll even sleep tonight; I could use it. I think I'm coming down with a cold.
Alright, it's done, and I have more peace of mind now. I feel kind of stupid, but that's pretty much a given. It's all good, and I don't think I'll be down in the dumps after all.
I'm going to do something today that I'm rather scared to do, but that I have to do in order to regain some peace of mind. After I'm done, I'll either be quite happy, or down in the dumps for a little while. If I'm happy I'll tell you why, but if I'm not I probably won't; I'll be feeling too much like a silly little girl.
Man. Blogger just ate my post again. Oh, well.
Saturday was great. I had a lovely time at the banquet, and afterwards we all went out to Heather's house to goof off. We had a campfire, and burned all the cardboard the guys had put up in front of the Assembly Building, and I had my sugar high from roasted marshmallows. It was a great end to the week; very relaxing.
Whilst rambling around on the web, I found this. I think it's one of the largest repositories of folk-song lyrics on the web, if not the largest. Quite amusing.
Oh, and has anybody ever heard of a smeet? Or a flying skunk? Jordan and
Wow. This week has been something else, let me tell you.
The funeral went well. I got to see a lot of family I haven't seen for awhile; including, but not limited to, my uncle from New Zealand. I also saw all my siblings but the one who's going to school in Indiana. Trevor didn't recognize me at all; the kid hasn't seen me but three months in the summer. Oh, well.
It was rough. I knew it was going to be, but it was still pretty hard. I rode up with my aunt and uncle from Tyler, and we stopped by the funeral home to view the body before going to my aunt's house in Tulsa. I don't think I'll ever forget that. I'd never seen what's left behind after the soul leaves. I just stood there and cried. I still can't really believe he's gone. He was so alive. There are so many memories...
I left Wednesday night and a couple of my cousins dropped me off at school. I didn't do much of anything that night. It was just a relief to sit and talk and laugh with my roommate, and be goofy for a little while.
Then it was Thursday, and Fall Fest hit with a bang. I got interesting reactions to my costume all day, and then we had the Air Band contest at SAGA that night. The guys really outdid themselves. I was impressed. And somehow, they got me to dance. That alone is incredible. We used the song "Great Balls of Fire", and I had to get all dressed up in a 70's costume. Like I told my roommate, I didn't feel like myself all day long. Kinda wierd. But it was fun, and we won. I can put up with a little insanity and look a little stupid for that.
Friday, I was all dressed up as Cat Girl From the Stone Age, or something. No tail, but the little ears and leopard print dress. 2A carried me all around to chapel, and class and such in what can only be called a litter made out of branches and a camp chair. When we got to chapel, it looked a little different. They'd put signs up calling it "Ardith's cave." It was crazy. I was much amused.
I saw my cousin last night. He's back from Tulsa, and he looks like he's holding up pretty well. I'm glad. I was worried about him. I can't even imagine how rough it would be.
Then today, I've spent all afternoon doing girl things. Getting my hair and nails done, and everything that goes with getting all dressed up for tonight. It's going to be so much fun. I can't wait to see the reactions from people. That's half the fun. They kind of go into a state of shock, because they've never seen me like this. I'm usually all about taking as little trouble with myself as possible, but once or twice a year it's fun to go all out. And anyway, my roomie has such a great time dressing me up.
Great times. This week is finally turning into a good one. Despite everything. Thank God.