March 05, 2006

The Academy Awards, 2006

Ardith, in a fit of creative inspiration, begins notes on the Academy Awards.

Opera, in a fit of petulance, dies unexpectedly.

Ardith, gaining some small amount of intelligence, opens up a text editor.

Charlize Theron wins award for Giant Floppy Bow On Shoulder.

President of the Academy: "Actors don't make movies for DVDs, they make them for movie theaters. So go spend that $8 on the next movie that comes out. It's better that way, we promise. Honest. Really. Besides, if you don't, we all go broke."

Ahh, the almost visible emanations of desperation. So much fun...

King Kong wins best Sound Mixing. Ardith learns there is an award for best Sound Mixing.

Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin win award for Stupidest Introduction Ever. Until the next one.

Nice commercial with M. Night Shamalyan.

Hustle And Flow wins award for Song Writers On Stage With Most Bling.

Awesome skit on Lobbying in Sound Editing Nominations.

George Clooney wins award for Being George Clooney.

Dense Fog advisory is announced, which seems to center around Cedar Rapids. Jolly good thing I'm not planning on going anywhere tonight.

Winner of Best Foreign Language Film: "We may not make films in English, but we're just as good as you. Nyahhh."

John Travolta wins award for Bravely Wearing A Double-Breasted Jacket.

As a side note, Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon both rock for, you know, actually being able to sing and act at the same time.

Local Weatherman: "After the Academy Awards, the world will resume having weather. Thank you for your patience."

The Dense Fog Advisory Beep wins the award for Keeping Ardith From Having To Hear All Of Larry McMurtry's Speech.

Jack Nicholson wins award for Showing Up In Sunglasses.

Brokeback Mountain wins award for Not Winning Best Picture.

And, once again, the Academy Awards wins award for Taking Themselves Waaaay Too Seriously.

Posted by Ardith at March 5, 2006 10:34 PM | TrackBack