October 04, 2005

MCI Is Eager For My Business

What exactly is it about the words "I'm not interested" that telemarketers don't understand? Do they have a different definition of 'not', for instance? Or perhaps 'interested' really means 'tired of listening to you'?

Tonight I got a call from MCI. Another frustrating thing about telemarketers is how they tend to YELL INTO THE PHONE AS IF IT WILL MAKE YOU MORE EAGER TO BUY THEIR PRODUCT. Annoyed yet? Yes, so was I. I could hear her quite clearly holding the phone 6 inches in front of my face. With the television on.

MCI Courtesy Caller: "Hi, I'm from MCI, we now offer local service in your area. I see you're now with Qwest. You phone bill runs about $40-50 a month, right?"

Stop right there. One of my pet peeves is people assuming things about me. Especially financial things. From people who don't know me from that maple tree over there. I suppose it's possible that the average phone bill is $40-50 a month. Unfortunately for telemarketers, I'm not average.

Me: "No, it's actually much lower than that."

*insert evil grin here*

See, I only have local service. I use my cell for the rare long-distance calls I make, and I have an answering machine. The only reason I have local service is for the DSL.

*short pause*

MCI Courtesy Caller: "Oh, well, we now offer local service in your area, and we'd like to offer you... blah... blah... for $35 a month..."

I was tempted to say something to the effect of:

Me: "Whoops. Still off by about $15. Bye-bye now."

But I didn't. I was nice.

Me: "I'm sorry, I'm not interested."

Not to be discouraged:

MCI Courtesy Caller: "Well, that's why we're offering you a free month, so you can see what it's like..."

Yes, and then bill me the instant my month is up. No thanks very much. I've got my bills all sorted out now, I'd like to keep them that way.

Me: "I'm really not interested."

What, victim on the end of the line hasn't hung up yet? Obviously they're still interested...

MCI Courtesy Caller: "It's a free month, you have nothing to lose..."

This was where she started trying to sound like anybody who wouldn't take this amazing offer was a moron. I don't like people who don't know me implying I'm a moron. It's annoying. Besides, I was trying to watch TV.

Me: "I'm. Not. Interested."

*short pause*

MCI Courtesy Caller: "Oh. Well, thank you."

Me: "Yep."

--Click--

Posted by Ardith at October 4, 2005 09:27 PM | TrackBack