It can be difficult at times to successfully portray the atmosphere in a household of ten kids. But I'm going to try anyway. Because it's one of those one-of-a-kind things.
We'll begin in the computer room, where Jason (17), Sharon (19), Derek (13), and I are all discussing the current fashion trends in jeans. Precipitated by the fact that Sharon is wearing the 'boot-cut' variety.
Jason: "Those look like something from the 80's!"
Me, having just walked in: "What looks like something from the 80's!"
Jason: "Those jeans Sharon's wearing!"
Derek: "Yeah, they look weird!"
Me: "Hrm. I happen to be wearing some like those, too. See?"
*gasps of amazement*
Jason: "See what happens when people go to college? They start wearing weird clothes!"
Me: "Yeah, yeah, I know."
...
Cut to the living room, where the Nutcracker CD is playing. The Arabian Dance having just started, dancing ensues. And by dancing, I mean jumping up and down and running in circles around the room. Half the kids run into each other and fall down, laughing all the while.
Trevor (2) walks in to ask Melinda (12) if he can play games on her computer, since he doesn't have one of his own yet. Except that he doesn't say anything much besides 'no'. So Jason asks for him, Melinda says 'yes', and Trevor goes back to the computer room and begins playing Commander Keen almost as well as I do. Getting through the first two levels all by himself. When he plays, he stands on the chair and holds his face about 4 inches from the computer screen, and is completely oblivious to the rest of the world. I blame his older brother for this behavior.
...
Carolyn (10) and Ethan (8) are now currently making skates out of waffle blocks. Which involves Ethan doing something and Carolyn telling him that's the wrong way to do it.
Trevor has moved to a new game. Actually, it's not a game at all, it's the map editor for something called Happyland Adventures Xmas Edition. Which Jason found in some obscure spot on the internet. I don't know what Trevor plans on doing with it, but he can say 'map' now and point to the right icon on the desktop.
...
The skates being assembled in the hallway are now believed to be stilts, since they're getting rather tall.
Melinda has set up a blanket as a curtain in the living room and has tied a string to a stuffed animal. The stuffed animal is now providing interpretive dance to accompany The Nutcracker.
Half of them are now playing 'FBI'. I discovered this when I walked into the hallway and got a sword, acting as rifle, pointed at me.
"You have the right to remain silent..."
...
Oooh. They're going to disassemble the completed puzzle on the table.
Derek: "We will raise it ceremoniously."
Puzzle is raised.
But they lack the willpower; they carefully lower it again and press the pieces back into place.
Me: "Oh, just tear it apart and put it away."
I get a toy gun pointed at my head for all my helpful comments, these days.
...
Jason walks in, and stalks around like a vulture.
Me: "Why are you stalking like a vulture?"
Jason: "I'm thinking furiously about complicated things which you wouldn't understand."
Above accompanied by much hand-waving and a dastardly tone of voice.
...
Back in the living room, an orchestral version of Jingle Bells is playing. Ethan is directing, the interpretive dance is still in progress, and Nolan (5) is standing at attention with the sword and a blanket tied around his neck for a robe.
I have just been informed by the director that the interpretive dance is to be called "Comical puppet shows set to music."
...
Jason reenters. Still stalking around.
Me: "Why are you still stalking around?"
Jason: "I'm thinking."
Me: "What are you thinking about?"
Jason: "I can't tell you yet."
Random pieces are taken out of the puzzle and replaced. Blame for missing pieces is placed on the heads of younger children.
Derek: "What did you ask Jason?"
Me: "I asked him what he was thinking about. He wouldn't tell me."
Derek: "Oh, it must be about That Thing. Except he said it wasn't about That Thing. So it must be about That Other Thing."
Me: "I'm so confused."
*types into blog entry*
Derek: "Hey! Are you writing my words?"
Me: "Yup."
All in the space of an hour. XD
Posted by Ardith at November 26, 2004 08:37 PM | TrackBack